It seems procrastination and children go together like peas and carrots. Some will grow out of it as they age, but some won’t without some guidance. Dr. Joseph Ferrari, professor of psychology at DePaul University, says, “Everybody procrastinates, but not everybody is a procrastinator.” Here are some tips to help stop your children from continuing this unhealthy habit.
Be an example.
The adage “actions speak louder than words” definitely applies here. Parents are the first teachers kids have, and if we put play before work, they will too. How many of you have scrolled through Pinterest while barking at your kids about getting homework done? Yep, guilty here, too. Procrastination is a learned behavior, ahem, and it’s important that we as parents provide a good example. You can even create family time around the work. Sit down and pay bills at the kitchen table while the kids do their homework. Fold laundry while they pick up their toys. Be the person you want your children to be.
Establish a routine.
By setting up a daily routine, you can alleviate the need for constant nagging that may have become part of your modus operandi as a mom. Local mom Amy Hilbrich Davis has developed a genius technique she teaches in her parenting workshops. With seven kids, she had to come up with something to keep her sanity intact. She made checklists for before and after school of specific tasks the kids need to get done before any playtime. Because her children know specifically what is expected of them, the need to constantly remind and cajole is eliminated.
Help them set goals.
Goal setting is the perfect way to help kids accomplish those bigger tasks. Is a book report due in three weeks? Sit down with your child and help break down how many pages need to be read each night. Then establish a timeline for drafting and completing the report. By breaking these larger tasks down into smaller and more concrete ones, kids will be able to grasp what it will take to get things done. Taking the abstract away and giving specific goals helps kids not feel so overwhelmed.
Reward, don’t punish.
Rather than punishing a child for not getting his tasks done, you’ll get the results you want by rewarding him when he actually follows through on what is expected of him. But Dr. Ferrari says it doesn’t have to be all or none. He suggests rewarding kids if they hit 80 percent of their goal. Catching them being good and providing positive reinforcement will make you both feel much better about it.
No more rescuing!
It’s a parent’s natural instinct to rescue our children when we see that they are floundering. Failing at something is not going to ruin them for life. Instead, the natural consequences of their behavior, or lack of, should light the fire of change you are looking for. We can talk to our kids until we are blue in the face about getting things done, but a poor grade or a missed opportunity to play with a friend because their chores/homework aren’t done will speak volumes in comparison. Life is a series of learned lessons. Things will only get harder for them if we as parents keep rescuing our children rather than letting them pick themselves up.
Hallie Sawyer is a local writer/blogger who is beyond thrilled that procrastination is not a genetic trait. Read her blog at www.HallieSawyer.com.