A Crazy Christmas List

    I’ve learned a couple of things this holiday season.  First of all, I learned that you shouldn't’t ask your children what they want for Christmas after you have already bought their presents.  Second, I learned that I will likely never understand what goes on inside the head of a little boy.

    A few nights ago, after reading some Christmas stories to my preschoolers, I asked them what they would like for Christmas.  I really should have asked a different question since I’d already bought their presents which were hidden in the basement.  My daughter listed a few items that she would like.  Her list was very reasonable and well planned.  In fact, it was so well thought out that I actually made a few returns and bought a couple of the items from her list.  My son’s list, however, was a different story.

    After my daughter told me the few things she really wanted, my son looked at me and asked, “Do you know what I really, really want?”  Since I know my son well, I knew that whatever came out of his mouth was going to be quite funny.  He had a glimmer in his eye as he asked that question and I knew it meant whatever he asked for would be a bit goofy.  I completely underestimated him.

    “I want a pooping lobster,” he said.  I was speechless for a minute and then I laughed.  Finally, when I realized he was actually a bit serious, I told him that I might have a hard time finding one of those.  After a few seconds , he changed his mind and said he actually wanted a “pooping dog.”  He must have seen the look on my face because he quickly reassured me that he just wanted a pretend dog that makes messes.  I was still laughing as he quickly went through the rest of his list.  He asked for tape, a watch, his own roll of toilet paper (I have no idea), and a bow and arrow.  You can probably guess which of those items he’ll find under  the tree.  Hopefully the additions to his train set and some new Trio blocks will help soothe his disappointment about not getting the, um, special dog.  Of course, the little plastic reindeer I bought that dispenses chocolate candy out of its rear end might also do the trick.

    Do you have any last minute gifts on your list?  If you do, I hope they’re a bit easier to find than my son’s requests.  Merry Christmas!