A Baby Called It – What to Do If You Can’t Agree on a Name
“So how’s Nameless Nephew doing?” I could have said “your new baby” or “your precious son” but the unnamed baby was now a month old. The problem: Daddy liked Joshua. Mommy liked Alexander. Big brother liked Thomas (after Thomas the Tank Engine). They reasoned, argued and tried bribery. All negotiations failed.
Fighting over baby names can get personal. Especially if you’ve dreamed about calling your baby Isabelle since you named your first doll, or fantasized about naming your son Babe since you bought your first baseball card. Now you’ve got a list, your partner has a list, you’ve cross checked them, and you still can’t agree….
So how do you find a meaningful name you can both agree on without resorting to Rock, Paper, Scissors?
Create a new name
Find out why a name is special to you or your partner. Is there an alternate version you can both live with? Get creative: Mix your top choice with your partner’s top choice. Try an online name generator if you need help. Change the spelling of a traditional name, or reverse it (e.g., heaven = nevaeh). Just don’t make it so imaginative that your kid hates filling out paperwork or is ridiculed by playground bullies. As a teacher, I had a student named Travisty. Even the misspelling couldn’t help that one. I wonder whether Audio Science, ZumaNesta Rock, Moxie Crimefighter or Pilot Inspektor will thank their celebrity parents.
Get Exotic
Search the world (via the web) for distinctive names from far off lands, cultures and languages. How about a foreign translation of your favorite name? Heaven, for example, =Alya (Arabic), Keilani (Hawaiian) or Celia (Latin). To avoid naming your baby “Ugly Head” in Celtic (Kennedy), “Unfortunate” in Latin (Delores) or “Lame” in Latin (Claudia), double check the meaning of your choice.
Get inspired by nature with flowers, plants, seasons, months, astrology or astronomy. The name you choose is the first gift you give your baby. They’ll have it for a lifetime, so make it special, but not so weird that they resent you and count the days until they can legally change it.
Namesakes
Searching old family records may reveal a lost name you may love. Who’s your favorite athlete, author or actor? Your childhood best friend? What about a place, landmark or city? How about a mythological, religious or spiritual figure? Denzel Washington is named after the doctor who delivered him.
Popularity Lists
If you don’t want your kid to be the sixth Isabelle or the fifth Aiden (top nationwide boy’s name for six years running) in class, check the popularity charts. Especially if the name you’re considering is based on a popular character or personality.
Test it
Test your first and middle name choices with your surname. Shout it out. Consider the Initials. What do they spell? How will the name age? Does it sound professional? Would you visit a urologist named Dr. Dick Chopp or a GP named Dr. Dick Weiner? Could you take a football coach named Lovey seriously? Would you buy real estate from Ben Dover? These are real names.
What If We Still Can’t Agree
In Kansas and Missouri, state law requires that a Certificate of Birth be filed with the state registrar within five days of birth. Overland Park Regional Medical files birth certificates within 24 hours. What if you can’t choose a name in time? A certificate will be filed anyway, and you will have to change your baby’s name later.
Let’s face it, if you couldn’t pick a name in nine months and you miss the filing deadline, what are the chances you’ll choose now without further procrastination? I recently ordered a Kansas birth certificate (priority mail) for my daughter. Five weeks later, I drove to Topeka to wait three hours, with two babies in a very small waiting room, to get it. You’ll have to change your baby’s name on her birth certificate, social security card, passport, savings bonds, etc. How easy (and expensive) do you think that quest will be?
In a perfect, world parents would instantly agree on a name they both love. My brother and his partner weren’t that couple. They wrote lists, swapped lists, crossed out names they hated and circled ones they liked. Sometimes you just have to see your baby to know what name suits him.
2010 Top Names for Missouri Boys
Jacob
Ethan
William
Jackson
Logan
2010 Top Names for Missouri Girls
Emma
Olivia
Isabella
Ava
Madison
2010 Top Names for Kansas Boys
Ethan
William
Jacob
Alexander
Noah
2010 Top Names for Kansas Girls
Emma
Isabella
Ava
Olivia
Abigail
Nationwide Girls
Sophia
Isabelle
Olivia
Emma
Chloe
Nationwide Boys
Aiden (six years running)
Jacob
Jackson
Ethan
Jayden
Victoria Pressley lives in Leavenworth with her two kids, 9,600 miles from her new nephew – finally named William.
*lists are from www.Babycenter.com