Expecting Again? Taking Motherhood and Pregnancy in Stride
Pregnancy can be tiring. Pair this 9-month stretch with raising children, and motherhood can feel like a marathon (with kids clinging to your heels and a watermelon in tow). Consider the tips and tricks of resident Kansas City mothers-of-many, and let them coach you past the leg cramps, nausea and exhaustion of mothering while pregnant.
TEACH SELF-RELIANCE
“Don't feel that you have to be supermom, doing everything for everyone all the time,” says Jessica Rubenking, Olathe mother of two. Challenge your kids to grow by teaching them new age-appropriate skills. Instead of doing for your kids what they can do themselves, train them to be self-reliant. You’ll both be better off for it.
Just do it:
- Make your home accessible to your kids. Keep stools handy for kids to reach toys, wash hands and get their own water.
- Make getting in and out the door easier. Place a coat hanger low on the wall for kids to hang their own coats and backpacks.
- Break routines into small tasks on popsicle sticks. Kids pick one stick at a time and complete the task: make bed, brush teeth, dress to shoes… turn the mundane into a game.
- Hang a basket near the washer: stray socks belong there, not on the floor! (It’s also a great catch-all for cleaning rags and dish towels.)
FOCUS YOUR ENERGY
Say “no” to things that aren’t priorities—you don’t have energy to squander. Many things in life are good, but focus your energy on what is best. Simplify your errands and free up your time.
Just do it:
- Stock up on thank you and birthday cards, stamps and address labels. Keep gifts and wrapping supplies on hand for kids’ birthday parties.
- Shop online for supplies and gifts.
- Set up automatic payments online.
- Participate in a freezer meal exchange with friends. Each person cooks a meal in bulk and assembles it into separate containers. Swap meals and stress less at dinner—it’s already made!
- Fill a three-ring binder with favorite recipes and take out menus in plastic page covers.
- Take advantage of drive-ins, including the post office and library
SIT AND SUPERVISE
“Interact while sitting and resting your body,” says Heather Andres, Olathe mother of two. “Play dates, library and backyards—I lived in places where my oldest could run and have fun while I rested in a chair.”
Just do it:
- Pull up a chair by the bath. Give kids some tub time (bring a basket of toys) and soak your swollen feet in the suds.
- Grab your camcorder. Blast some music or a sing-and-dance-along DVD. Have your kids pretend they’re on “America’s Got Talent,” and shower them in praise.
- Keep a basket of books and activities (beads and pipe cleaners for stringing, stickers and paper, card games) handy on both floors of the house.
SET A RELAXED PACE
“A relaxed mom is a happy mom,” says Jessica Rubenking. “Rest when you can! Take time for yourself! Even if it’s only 30 minutes per day, take a nap, a warm bath or just sit and rest on the couch.”
“Don't be too proud to ask for help,” says Cathy Holtorf, Gardner parent educator and mother of three. “See if your husband, parents or friends can spend time with your child so you can take time out for a nap or alone time.”
Just do it:
- Keep a stack of learning DVDs on hand for moments when you just need a break. If the kids are going to be in front of the TV, you’ll feel better knowing they’re watching something educational. LeapFrog has a brilliant selection of DVDs to bolster math and reading skills.
- Take a drive and explore new places. You can interact with your kids and still remain seated and relaxed.
- Devote time to things that bring you joy, and allow yourself to be pampered. Book a hair appointment, facial or prenatal massage. Enjoy lunch with friends. Taking time for yourself may feel indulgent, but you may not have time once baby arrives.
“Be patient, budget your time and forget trivial issues—there’s always tomorrow,” advises Linda DeCarlo, a nurse practitioner with Kansas City Women’s Clinic. “In 10 years, you’re not going to remember whether the laundry was done or the floors were cleaned, but you will remember the mile markers with your family.” Take the rest in stride, and do what you can to finish well!
Wendy Connelly is a mother of two from Overland Park. She spent many afternoons at a zero-entry pool with big sister before baby brother arrived.