Little Miss Independent

     I'm not exactly sure what happened from one night to the next, but my little girl is surely becoming an independent "little" woman right before my eyes. From the moment our children are born, we are pushing them toward independence, and yet when they finally take those reigns, the lump in our throat wants us to desperately pull back.

     For 9 months in the womb, your baby is completely dependent on you and utterly independent on their own to do anything. They rely on you for nourishment, warmth, and life. Yet once they are born, the umbilical cord is cut, they breathe on their own, the experience hunger and pain for the first time, and "survival of the baby" seems to kick into gear.

     My toddler, who has been potty-training/potty-trained for 4 months now, suddenly informed me that she no longer needed my assistance. In typical toddler fashion, my daughter suddenly proclaimed, "No mommy, you leave. I do it myself." My first thought was that she needed to try saying that again only with kinder words. And then I quickly realized that this is one more way that she is spreading her wings at the young age of 2 years and 10 months. Yes, we aren't even 3 yet, but we are entering into the slightly stubborn yet very appropriate world of independence.

     Our response to the appropriate desire to be independent from our little ones will help you and your child successfully navigate these tricky waters. Providing boundaries when appropriate, helping a child make sense of their emotions and how to best express the emotion, and giving them some space to be independent (with those boundaries you have set) will provide a positive environment for you and your child to work in. 

     I have found that sometimes I feel frustrated with my daughter's sudden urge to be independent with even the littlest things that shouldn't really matter, and yet I can also find the humor in it. She is taking steps toward figuring out who she is as a person and trying to make sense of the world in which she lives. If I can give her the space to do so in a supportive, appropriate, boundary-set environment, where she learns that actions have consequences and she still has to listen to authority regardless, she will grow up to be happy and adjusted, but not wild and out of control. 

     How have you handled this period with your young child?