Surviving Separation Anxiety and Stranger Danger

     My son has always had a big smile from ear to ear plastered on his face. He's been the happy, smiley kid who would go easily to everyone who wanted to hold him....until these last couple of months. Recently he has changed his tune in a BIG way, letting everyone know that he wants no one else to hold him but Mommy. This has presented some challenges without a doubt, and it's leaving my husband and me wondering how we survive this stage with him.

     You must first know that I am a stay-at-home Mom. I was a bit perplexed, you could say, as to why his attachment was so strong when I'm with him literally every waking hour of the day. My pediatrician reminded me that this is especially typical with kids whose Mom's stay at home. Since he is used to spending every second of the day with me, seconds apart could feel like an eternity to him. 

     It has been challenging with relatives, family functions, doctor's visits and nursery at church. Whenever someone (friend or relative) walks into the house, my son erupts in tears and screams. It's as if he suspects I'm leaving because someone has just walked in the door. I recently went to the doctor for a bad cold, and the second the doctor walked into the room, he screamed as if he had just received a shot! And he screamed this way for the ENTIRE VISIT! Imagine what that must have been like! It's no different when I have to take him to the doctor; he practically stops breathing he is crying so hard. And if you think I can drop him off in the nursery in our church.....forget it! He grabs onto me like a koala bear at the slightest attempt to hand him off to anyone, and cries once we enter the doors of the hallway leading to his room. What's a Mom to do?

     I've decided that I had to try a different strategy than what I had been doing. Handing him off to people so that I could leave was not working in the least bit! It was creating more stress and anxiety for everyone, it seemed. So I knew I had to change my game plan.

     I recently attended a play group with some Mom's who I don't see very often. When we arrived at this person's home, there must have been 12 kids present (and maybe 5 or 6 Mom's). I set my son down at a toy and walked away to put my diaper bag and jackets down. Much to my surprise, he never once seemed to even look for me, let alone appear concerned or frightened. He played so well for a long period of time before even noticing I was still in the room. It seemed that setting him down at a toy he was interested in playing with was the key, rather than handing him off to a person. I decided I would try it this past Sunday in church to see if the theory would hold true.

     It worked!

It wasn't full proof; he did eventually cry after about 25 minutes, but that still bought  me 25 minutes of time to sit and listen to the sermon, something I haven't been able to do in a long time. If you've got a child suffering from separation anxiety/stranger danger, this tactic just might work for you, too. If you have an idea of how to combat this and help your child through this stage, please share it here with the rest of us! We're eager to hear ideas!