XYB (Examine Your Breasts)!

When's the last time you checked in with your girls? You know, your mams. Your breasts. We all know we're supposed to do a monthly self-exam, but honestly, how many of us in our 20s, 30s and 40s actually DO that? I've tried at times, pawing around at what felt like chicken pieces in a plastic package with bumps and ridges and valleys and voids. My doctor once told me my breasts were exceptionally bumpy and it was really hard to tell what she was feeling. And I, with much less experience than she, am supposed to be able to tell what I'm feeling?

The last few years a group of my family and friends has participated in the Komen "Race for the Cure" fundraiser walk for breast cancer. My sister-in-law enthusiastically arranges for our group to meet and walk. We show up bleary eyed and reluctantly ready to do our part. As we enter the crowded hubbub of the festivities, amidst the healthy snack and beverage vendors giving out samples, the ladies sporting pink shirts - the breast cancer survivors - start catching my eye. One woman with her family; a small group of three walking together; pink shirts dot the sea of white shirts with astonishing regularity, their uniform silently proclaiming their battle cries. I then start noticing the many pink tags pinned to people's shirts. Walkers may wear a pink tag to celebrate or commemorate someone they know who has battled breast cancer and won - or lost. In the sea of people flooding the streets, it seems that most wear a pink tag with the name of a loved one. My own pink tag says "In memory of Aunt Jane." The friend I walk with wears one, "In memory of Mom."

Last year a small family caught my eye. A girl about my age with a pink t-shirt and the traditional cap and scarf headdress of those undergoing chemotherapy, along with her husband, tended to their baby, not much older than my own baby, about 3 months old at the time. My heart jumped into my throat and tears welled in my eyes as I took in this sobering sight. Since the walk I've often thought of this family, and I wondered just how this mom found her cancer. Was she diligently performing her monthly self-exams and happened upon a change in her breasts? Through pregnancy and breast-feeding, so many changes take place, how would she have known she'd found something that wasn't just part of the normal changes? Occasionally at night I laid in bed, my still nursing daughter in her bassinet at my side, and tried to explore my own breasts, trying to "get to know them" as we're instructed to do. And then, one night, where I normally find an empty area beneath my nipple, I found something. It felt kind of like a bumpy grape, and was definitely not something I'd noticed before. It was (gulp) some kind of a lump.

A quick search on the internet for "breast lump" returned over 4 million results. And of course, what I found out is that there are many possibilities of what a lump can be, with many different risks, treatments and outcomes. I saw that my risk factors are low, and that there are many types of benign lumps, many common with breastfeeding. I also found that 8 out of 10 lumps women find are benign. But the image of the woman at the Race for the Cure with her young baby haunted me and I called my doctor. Two nervous weeks after the first phone call, I had my answer. They sped me through the initial appointment and to an ultrasound, revealing a "cystic structure," several cysts clumped together. It was great news.

I'm so grateful to the woman at the walk - she bared her personal struggle to thousands of people by simply wearing a pink t-shirt and bandana alongside her family. Her actions spoke loudly of the danger all women should be aware of.

Don't forget. Don't neglect. Remind your moms, your sisters and your friends. One in eight of us will develop breast cancer during our lifetime. One in 40 women will die of breast cancer before the age of 75. The chances are slim while we're young, but there, and they increase as we age. Get to know your girls so that if something changes, if something happens, you'll notice. Early detection is key to victory against this enemy.

Self-Breast Exam:

A self-breast exam consists of two parts - first visually looking for changes (size, texture, color, shape) and second, feeling carefully for lumps, lightly, then with medium pressure, then still more pressure to feel all the tissue in the breast. Detailed instructions can be found on many, many websites. The following websites can help you find how-to guides for a self-breast exam and much other information regarding breast cancer and its treatments, as well as plenty of information on alternate conditions which may also cause breast changes such as what I experienced.

Komen.org - A wealth of information about breast cancer and efforts to combat it, including a movie of how to perform a self breast exam

BreastcCancer.org - Another comprehensive site with all kinds of information. For instructions to do a self breast exam, look under "Symptoms and Diagnosis"

SoYouWanna.com - My favorite. Informative, entertaining, down-to-earth. Click on the "SYWs A to Z" tab and look under "B" for "breast self-examination, perform a"

Emily Parnell makes her home in Overland Park and will be walking again this year.