A Game of Honor

Romans 12:10, “Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.”

With three highly verbal daughters, we have no shortage of words in our family. Even our calico cat thinks she has to add in her two cents all the time. Thankfully, my husband grew up with a lot of sisters, so he isn’t shocked by our daily word count and he’s perfected the distant-yet-interested smile and nod. Recently, I stumbled upon a new word to introduce into our family’s vocabulary. It’s simple, yet packs a punch. It invites competition but, when assigned to the right mission, it results in a win for everyone involved. The word is outdo.  

Merriam-Webster defines outdo as “to go beyond in action or performance.” Simply stated, it means “to do better than.” We love fun and friendly competition in our house, whether it’s over a game of Scrabble or a basketball game in the cul-de-sac. Romans 12:10 says, “Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.” The name of our new family game is showing honor and the rules state that we simply have to outdo one another to win.

With that goal in mind, our rules for play are to offer the most respect and esteem in every circumstance. By going beyond the other person in action or words in showing honor, we all come out as winners, but it’s not easy. Competing to win rarely is though. Contending in a game of honor means surrendering anything not fitting the honor criteria: words that hurt, tear down or offend. Then we must choose to act and speak in ways that leave others feeling respected and esteemed.  

Our family takes home the gold trophy in outdoing each other in areas like sarcasm and chore avoidance. Who was the winner in ignoring the dirty ice cream bowls sitting on the counter last week? No one, when we didn’t have clean bowls. Who won the word war by throwing sarcasm in the other person’s face during the argument? Everyone lost. We won’t ever pitch a perfect game in this competition, but flawlessness isn’t required, just attempts.

The wisdom in showing honor is that the giver and receiver walk away feeling respected and valued. It’s another way of living out the golden rule Jesus gave in Luke 6:31: “Do to others as you would like them to do to you.” Our homes, our schools, our sports fields, our workplaces and our cities will benefit from our being families who outdo one another in showing honor. It’s one competition where participation trophies mean we all truly win.

Faith & Family columnist Jena Meyerpeter writes from Lenexa. You can follow more of her writings at UnravelGrace.com.