A Role Model

Ian stomped up the stairs and slammed the door to his room.

I looked at James. “Are you all right?”

“Yes.” He turned back to his tablet.

James had said something about Ian’s friend. He didn’t like it and had launched himself on his brother. It took me a moment to separate them, and I’d exiled Ian to his room.

Neither boy was hurt, but the root problem, Ian’s reliance on his fists to settle disputes, wasn’t addressed. Not this time.

We don’t allow violence in our home. Sandi and I have never hit one another, and we hadn’t spanked the boys, either. Their autism had made traditional approaches to discipline ineffective, so we’d relied on alternative methods. We tried to make our home a refuge of peace, and it had worked for James.

But not for Ian. Maybe his choice in movies, filled with simulated violence, either animated or live action, had too much influence. Because of his disability, he wasn’t able to tell the difference between reality and entertainment. He needed an alternative.

What movies could I present to Ian that would avoid violence, but that he’d still like? I asked my friends and posted a query in social media. A week later, we started. Every other night, we watched one of the suggested films and talked with him about their lessons. Sure, there was some action in them, but none of them had a problem resolved by fighting.

About a month later, we stopped at a convenience store. While I stood in line to pay for his soda, he spoke.

“Hey, Dad, know what? Let’s get James some ice cream. Mom, too.”

I’ll never be certain if Ian’s behavior changed just because a few movies showed a different path toward resolution. But, I like to think so.

William R. Bartlett lives in Belton with his family.