Beat the Back-to-School Worries
It’s hard to believe that summer is winding down and, before you know it, your children will be heading back to school. Early morning starts and regular routines once again will replace the lazy days of summer. While heading back to school can seem super exciting to us parents (hello, sanity!), the start of school often can bring a lot of anxiety, worry and stress for children—no matter their age.
Transition years are crucial times and can have a major impact on children. Going from a half day to full day, preschool to kindergarten, elementary to middle school and then middle to high school are all big changes for young bodies. As a parent, remember that whatever back-to-school worries your children have are completely normal and valid. This time of transition can be very challenging and difficult—and maybe even disruptive to your family too. Children may complain of headaches or stomachaches, cry easily, throw tantrums, become clingy or even withdraw. Even though watching your child go through this is difficult, remember that it’s important your child still attend school. Avoidance of school will only increase, and actually reinforce, your child’s anxiety.
Common worries kids face can range from starting a new school to encountering new teachers and classmates and new experiences. Questions may swirl in young minds: Will I make friends? Will I know where my locker is? Are my clothes okay? Who will I eat lunch with? Will I have recess? Where is the bathroom? What if I don’t understand the assignment? What are my siblings doing while I’m at school? All of these thoughts and questions are perfectly normal, and parents can help their child manage those big emotions. One great strategy is to teach the habit of focusing on the positive. Kristen and Andrew, Overland Park parents of three boys, share, “We try to focus on the fun they had last year with their friends. Let them know it is okay to feel nervous but help them remember they will have familiar faces excited to see them when they walk into school.”
Past experiences also prove valuable in helping your children prepare as they reach the next level in education. Link their previous experiences to what lies ahead. Knowing or understanding what to expect always takes down the barriers for children and will increase their comfort level.
A few weeks before school starts, begin the process of getting your child back in a regular routine. Summer is notorious for later bedtimes, sleeping in and no routine or schedule to speak of. Children (and adults!) need to retrain their bodies before the first day rolls around.
Allow your child to help choose and shop for his school supplies and maybe pick out a special backpack or lunch bag as well to increase the back-to-school buy-in. If you have younger children who might have trouble with separation, let them take a special object or photo. When our son started kindergarten this past year, the first few weeks were a bit of a rough transition. We ended up sending in a family photo to help him ease in. A fun note in a backpack or lunch bag is always a great supportive gesture too!
Kay Forsyth, elementary school counselor in Olathe, offers a few more helpful tips to deal with back-to-school worries:
- Take care of their daily needs. Rest is very important, even when your child isn’t interested. Try earlier bedtimes or a quiet time in the day, which in turn will help kids face the long days, especially at the onset of the school year. Aside from rest, make sure your child is eating well too.
- Encourage your child to share his or her fears. Ask what his concerns are. Use a distraction to help encourage conversation, then LISTEN. Avoid giving assurances or telling him not to worry. Instead, problem solve and plan. Give suggestions and help him practice how to handle different situations at school.
- Be a positive role model by responding calmly when your child goes off to school, not lingering, but simply expressing that she’ll be on your mind throughout the day and you will be excited to hear after school how her day goes. Stay positive and have faith that your child can adjust to the change of going back to school and thrive in the classroom.
- You can go to school several times before school actually begins to make the environment more familiar. Walk through the building so kids know where everything is. If possible, have them meet their teachers and see their classrooms. Lisa, an Overland Park mom of four, says, “I think it’s important to participate in back-to-school events to show your child it’s an exciting time, and to help them feel as comfortable as possible in their new environment.” For middle school students, take them to school and allow them to follow their schedule, find their classes and try out their lockers.
Whatever anxieties and insecurities your child faces prior to the start of the school year, have faith in him, his teacher and the school. While the year may start off a little rocky, rest assured that with a lot of love, compassion and consistency, your child will thrive. Remember to communicate well with your child’s teacher and maintain a positive attitude with your child! Best of luck this year!
Julie Collett will be implementing some of these same strategies for her own children when they feel a little bit anxious and nervous about starting new grades and new schools!