Because Reasoning With Children Is Not Easy

I once tried to reason with my four-year-old son that “two plus” isn’t a number.  You can imagine how that conversation went nowhere very quickly.   

Not long before discussing where exactly “two plus” fell on a number line, I tried in vain to convince my two older children that the ridiculous story another child had told them was absolutely not true.  It was not a productive conversation.

Eventually, I got a bit smarter and stopped trying to reason with my young children.  Instead, I found myself saying, “If you say so.”  I didn’t necessarily like how the statement implied that they had the final word, but I did like how it ended the silly debates about whether they sky is blue or orange!

Recently, I learned of a better statement that still works like a charm.  My aunt, a mother of four and a preschool teacher, told me she uses the phrase “that may be” when her students attempt to argue or debate about an issue.  It’s perfect.

Now, when my children tell me that I promised I would feed them nothing but candy all summer, I simply say, “that may be.”  Of course, the important part comes after that.  I say, “That may be, however, we’re having healthy food for dinner tonight.”  I’m able to avoid all the “No, I did not” and “Yes, you did.”

It’s easy to understand why this statement works.  It allows children to feel validated and still have to submit to the authority of their parent or caretaker.  Of course, there are situations where it isn’t even okay for kids to think, “That may be.”  Fortunately, I’ve found that my kids don’t usually dig in their heels about things that having any true importance.

How do you handle conversations when your children insist they are right about something trivial?  Perhaps you use my second favorite line of, “Go ask your dad!”