Birthday Parties That Give Back

It’s been said, “It’s better to give than receive.” Meet two local families who took this to heart by throwing a birthday party where the gifts collected didn’t go to the birthday child, but instead went to those in need. Read on to learn how it went from both the mom’s and the child’s perspective. 

Colleen and Katherine Kallas

Mom’s Take

Every year, I struggle with the gift-giving that accompanies my girls’ birthday parties. There are often 10 or more guests in attendance, so gifts are given in abundance. Naturally, my girls glory in this bounty, but I’ve grown uncomfortable with the excess, especially when you factor in all of the gifts they receive from us, grandparents, etc. I know—let kids be kids; no one is bestowing such treasures on me as an adult! But this year, it just didn’t fit with what we wanted our girls to experience.

It turns out my kids weren’t so eager to give up their gifts. All the parenting advice I’ve read on this topic suggests that the children need to be on board with the idea to make it work. While this theory makes sense to me, we bucked the expert advice this year. We gave our girls a choice: (1) they could limit the guest list to 5 and receive gifts, or (2) invite as many as they wanted and seek donations of school supplies for the Green Bag Project, which provides the supplies to foster children in need. Try as they might, they couldn’t abide by the 5-guest limit, so we did Green Bag for both parties. The volume of school supplies we collected from two parties was astounding. The best part was actually delivering the supplies to the collection site. The girls helped sort the supplies and had so much fun that they asked if they could volunteer for the collection day next summer!!

I don’t know whether I’ll mandate that my girls do this every year, but our experiences with “giving back” birthdays have served as wonderful reminders of the needs around us, how much we have been given and the joy that comes from helping others. All of these things are gifts that I want my children to have.

Katherine’s Take

It was about three weeks until my birthday. I was super happy! My mom called a family meeting that night. She said, "How would it feel if you didn't have presents this year?"

"What???" my little sister and I said. "No gifts?"

"Ok," said Mom, "let me rephrase that. Instead of gifts from friends, how about collecting things for people in need? So who's in?"

"Me," we both said.

So, we collected school supplies for Green Bag Project. We went to deliver the gifts after the party. I felt so good doing it. We met some kids who were helping to assemble the school supplies, but we didn't get to meet the kids who got them. I would still love to see their faces when they got these wonderful gifts. And I expect they really appreciate them. And that is my happy birthday story. So, go make a difference.

P.S. My grandma and lots of my relatives still gave me lots of presents!

Nancy and Ashley West

Mom’s Take

I began telling my girls early on that their birthday parties would be changing after they turned 8. From their first birthday until their seventh birthday, all would stay the same—birthday parties at our house with all their friends. We would pick a theme, have food, crafts and games. For their eighth birthdays, we would go all out. Take a trip where the birthday girl wants to go and celebrate as a family. For birthday parties 9 and above, the girls pick a charity to be the recipient of their gifts. These parties can still have all the games, crafts, food, fun and friends that the girls want to include. And I even will look at destination parties as a fun and different option, because all the previous parties will have occurred at our house. The only change is the girls have to pick a charity to receive the gifts.

This year was our first charity party. My oldest daughter turned 9 in July and chose Harvesters for her charity. Because this was a charity she had been to before, we planned to have the party right at Harvesters. The girls sorted and packed food and then received a tour of the facility. After the tour, including going into the deep freeze, we had cake and gave out party favors. The girls seemed to have a good time hanging out, and our group donated 170 pounds of food to the food bank. On all fronts, I consider the party a great success and am excited thinking about what charity my daughter will choose next year.

Ashley’s Take

For my ninth birthday, Mom said, “No more presents.” I got to pick the place, so I said, “Harvesters,” and she said, “Yes.” So we sent out birthday party email invitations inviting my friends to Harvesters. Twelve girls showed up. At Harvesters, we packaged food, had cupcakes and watched a video. Instead of gifts for me, all the kids brought food for Harvesters, and we had 170 pounds of food that we donated to the food bank. I chose Harvesters because it is fun and I know I am helping someone.