Birthday Traditions
Traditions give us a sense of comfort, purpose and belonging. We can rely on them like old friends, and we call on them periodically to keep us connected and to give symbolic meaning to special moments in our lives, like anniversaries, holidays, vacations and birthdays. I have created more traditions in my tiny cottage with my big old family than I have amassed coffee mugs in my pantry. The joy of traditions captures a moment of time and allows me to part with that time more willingly knowing I’ll revisit that tradition once again in the future!
My traditions began long ago when I started saving every wax birthday candle that embellished my children’s birthday cakes. Those little drippy wax candles, some with sparkles, some in the shape of numbers and letters and some still covered in chocolate cake, represent hundreds of wishes and tiny thoughts worth saving to this sentimental mama. I have them all tucked in a giant mason jar sitting on a shelf in our dining room. Every birthday, I reuse a candle from that jar and incorporate it into the theme, color, particular birthday mile marker or special celebration. The sentimental practice is an excellent reflection of how joyful our family is to celebrate those we love year after year, decorating the cake with a little piece of the past.
Time is fleeting, and as my six children grow, I feel the need to hold tightly to traditions, like I would to an old friend. Traditions can be a great time of reflection, helping us pause to focus on the essential things that strengthen the family. I love tangible tokens that elicit my remembering just by a touch, and that big 1950s faded blue Mason jar now sits on my shelf, holding decades of birthday songs, silent wishes and great family moments. So that’s how one of my little birthday traditions began. Are you ready to create some of your own?
Traditions can be monotonous and exhausting if you don’t simplify them and infuse them with meaning. If you’re not careful, they can rob you of the moment you wish to capture and save, depleting your joy. Traditions also require more heart than financial investment—and a little planning too. It’s kind of like saying grace before you eat a meal and break bread: Whether you bow your heads and fold your hands or offer thanks for the hands that prepared the meal, you are creating a tradition. These moments of tradition offer the security of coming together to eat a meal and acknowledge how vital faith and family are. By incorporating traditions into birthdays, you can give your child a gift that is more than a material item. It’s a heartfelt spiritual connection they can “open” for years to come.
*B is for banners!
Themed birthday parties are fun and very personal, but sometimes we get carried away with the theme and lose focus of what or whom we are celebrating. It can also get expensive, matching all the plates, banners, napkins, cups, hats, balloons and yard art! Party City is like an amusement park for birthday party planning. I used to stand befuddled, staring at large and flamboyant balloon bouquets, matching plastic silverware and giant yard art and wondering whether the disposable decorations mattered more to my kids or to me.
One year, I finally decided to ditch the commercial birthday banners that eventually ended up in the trash and make our own that I could bring out annually and hang up the night before, welcoming another year of growth and experience. I personalized it with ribbons, glitter, photographs, stickers and trinkets that I’d collected. I use the same banner for each child, so it features a bit of each of their personalities sprinkled among the “Happy Birthday” letters. The sentimental aspect of birthdays persuades me to put a little piece of mama in all aspects of their special day. Thoughtful touches you just can’t buy. Time is better spent adding to a “forever” birthday banner every year than contributing to a disposable birthday pile so easily forgotten.
*I is for ice cream smash cake!
Ice cream and cake are a timeless complementary combo. They are even better when they are smashed together, separated by chocolate fudge layers and sprinkles and covered in frosting. (We can thank the ancient Greeks for the cake tradition—birthday cakes were initially shaped into little round moons and adorned with candles to mimic the moon’s glow.) Instead of pulling a variety of ice cream flavors from the freezer only to melt on the countertops while the cake stands alone in its candle glow waiting to be sliced, smash them together. Let your kids pick out their favorite cake and ice cream flavors, select some great additions like sprinkles, whipped cream, chocolate syrup or crumbled cookies, and layer away. It takes me back to my old Dairy Queen days when my mom would treat us to the round ice cream cake with chocolate, peanuts, crunchies and chocolate ice cream. Sometimes, the flavors and textures of homemade ice cream cake made by Mom, Dad or Grandma surpass the professionally decorated, store-bought versions. Surprise your kids with a unique concoction made by you, especially for their special days!
*R is for random acts of kindness
In a world of me, mine and I, there is no better way to leave an imprint in other people’s lives than by spending your birthday loving on others. Shift the focus away from a “celebration of me” to a “celebration of what I can do to encourage, edify and make someone else’s life better because I exist.” We all want to impact others positively, and encouraging your kids to share kindness with others, even on their birthdays, is a true gift. Write a letter or send flowers to a friend or family member, compliment a random stranger, offer to pick up groceries for your elderly neighbor, walk your friend’s dog, buy someone coffee in the drive-through or donate to a food bank. One year, we had a birthday party for my oldest daughter at a local food bank, Harvesters. We had everyone bring canned food as a gift, and we put together food boxes and care packages for a local shelter. Afterward, we went out for frozen yogurt and reminisced about how grateful we were to have such a great tribe of people in our lives! The Salvation Army and other local organizations have birthday kits you can put together and donate to ensure others can celebrate their birthdays even in the toughest times. For more information, visit CentralUSA.SalvationArmy.org/usc/make-a-birthday-kit.
Learning how to celebrate your children’s birthdays through tradition is a meaningful and loving way to make them feel valued, honored and secure in their family—and it brings intentionality into the home. Home is the birthplace of tradition, and it beckons us to give our children a sense of connection with their past as they reach new milestones yearly. Whether you decide to plant a tree and take a photo with that tree every year, write a birthday letter to your child, fill your child’s room with balloons before dawn, conduct a birthday interview, serve a special birthday dinner of a favorite meal or hang a personalized birthday banner, you are creating birthday traditions that will last a lifetime.
Ronald Reagan once said, “Wherever a beautiful soul has been, there is a trail of beautiful memories.” These words resonate with my motherhood! I want my children to look back as they age and see a beautiful trail of memories behind them formed by traditions I’ve created for their beautiful souls.
Elizabeth Hammond is a sourdough-baking homeschooling momof six and a “want-to-be” homesteader living in a tiny cottage innorthern Overland Park.