Coping with Childhood Fears

As I dust the cobwebs off of my memory bank from childhood, I can recall one childhood fear that was very strong and consistent for me: the fear of the dark. This fear only took place when having to go through my parents bedroom, bathroom, and closet to reach the laundry chute. For some reason, this trek seemed to take an eternity to get there, required every ounce of courage I could find, and took maybe 2 seconds for me to sprint out of there back into the safe light. Ah, yes, I did, in fact, have a childhood fear.

My daughter (nearly 3 years old), has become very fearful of quite a few things lately: the vacuum/automatic flushing toilets in public restrooms/hand dryers in restrooms (loud noises in general), the bathtub (a  non-negotiable unfortunately), dinosaurs, and the Beast (from Beauty and the Beast), to name the main players here.

Childhood fears are absolutely normal for young children. In fact, it demonstrates a higher level of thinking and cognition. It shows that children can hold an idea or picture of something in their head that they don't actually physically see. It's part of the make-believe stage of play and creativity, but this can also create some challenges as well.

The other night, my daughter was hysterical about 15 minutes into bedtime. Convinced there was a dinosaur under her bed, we got out the flashlight, braved our souls to crouch on the floor and life up the bed spread to see, in fact, that there was no "scary dinosaur" terrorizing her. 

While it seems silly, illogical, or even impossible for any of these fears to be real, it is important to remember that to your child, the fear is very real, and that's what matters. It doesn't matter if you can say that logically a dinosaur could not fit under your bed, nor do they live and exist anymore. Logic flies out the window with fears and young children. You must empathize! Seize the opportunity to comfort your child, who is looking to you for comfort and a feeling of safety. What a wonderful way to strengthen your bond!

Another helpful tip for addressing childhood fears is through reading books. There are many books available that address these fears in very light, non-threatening ways, to help your child navigate through. For my daughter's fear of dinosaurs, we have purchased some books by Jane Yolen entitled, "How Do Dinosaurs...." (eat their food, clean their rooms, say I love you, etc). These books are great at personifying dinosaurs and making them "silly" for little kids. Your local libraries are a great place to dig for helpful books for childhood fears.