Feeling Silly When You Parent

Yesterday we had a playdate with two friends and each of their kids. The kids range in age from 15 months to 23 months, which means they have all entered the lovely stage of toddlerhood!

My friend with the youngest child is implementing the Love and Logic approach for disicpline, and one of the strategies involves saying "uh-oh" when the child has misbehaved. We were all sitting, playing on the floor when the youngest had done something he shouldn't be doing, and my friend quickly picked him up and said, "Uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh", carrying him out of the room to a designated time out spot.

This ended up happening two separate times in a period of 7 or 8 minutes. The same "uh-oh" repetition happened. My friend with the 23 month old kept thinking something was wrong - one of the kids hit their head on something, or tried to bite the other, or was maybe picking up something they shouldn't - but that wasn't the case. It was one mom attempting to implement and be consistent with her chosen strategy of discipline.

The second time she came back, she said, "Do you ever feel stupid when you parent?" We all resoundingly exclaimed "Yes", because sometimes, you do. For example, when you keep speaking in first person to your child, "Mommy said no touch." Or, speaking in such simple terms for your child to "get it" that they need to give the dog "soft touches" instead of whacking them on the head with the puzzle piece.

We reassured our friend that she was not alone in feeling "stupid" parenting. We're all in that same boat right now, but we just need to stay consistent and keep our ground, despite what other people might be thinking.