Her Fear is MY Fear

   My daughter has a fear. There is nothing quite like watching your child when they are scared and that motherly instinct kicks in to comfort and console them. I don't have to face this often. My girls have very few fears (in fact this may be the only one). When our oldest went through a very brief time of being afraid of the dark (I think it lasted less than a month), simple talks, a night light, and comforting did the trick.

   I teach Public Speaking to children and teens. I have a lot of experience encouraging and coaching kids through their fears, but I've found a challenge.

   This week, my two-year-old exhibited her first fear (this from a child who will eagerly jump into a lake, ride the kiddie roller coasters, ride a pony, and climb great heights). My second daughter is apparently afraid of dogs. The problem? So am I.

    Growing up, I was bit and/or threatened (dogs got in my face, or knocked me down and growled and scared me) by MANY dogs on MANY occasions and consequently, I am scared to death of dogs. There are a few (very few) dogs I don't mind. If an owner has their dog and it's on a leash, I'm okay (but certainly prefer if the dog stays away). If a calm dog is around and the owner is present, I'm fine (notice I said calm... yappy or hyper dogs make me very nervous). And, there are a few dogs I've come to know. We have a good friend with a dog who seems to never do much but lounge around. That particular dog has never bothered me.

   Last week, we were at our friend's house and my two-year-old daughter screamed with terror every time the dog looked at her. The dog would be resting, would simply open its eyes, and she would panic.

    I have not told my girls about my fear. They don't know I'm scared of dogs (though my oldest does know I dislike dogs because she asked). Yet, somehow my two-year-old now has the same fear (she's never had any bad experiences of her own). As a mom, I found it really hard to comfort her and talk her through it, as I was able to do for her older sister's fear of the dark, because I share her fear.

    I've heard all the stories about "good dogs." Every dog that ever bit me, "Never bites anyone," and their owner, "can't/couldn't believe they did such a thing." In some instances, I didn't even know a dog was in the vicinity when I was bit (so I couldn't have been giving off the "I'm scared" vibe). As a result, I'm skeptical of all dogs. And, that makes it very difficult for me to soothe my daughter.

   So, what do you suggest? How should I comfort and coach my daughter when her fear is my fear?