Making Birthdays Magical

A child’s birthday is the most magical day of the year. An entire 24 hours dedicated just to them. Balloons, friends, presents and, of course, cake and ice cream. And though the magic of a birthday party is easy to imagine, the reality for a parent hosting that day often conjures a little less magic and a lot more mayhem.

Relax. We’ve got the tips and tricks to keep you super zen, the kids uber happy and the memories beautiful on this especially important day.

Pick a theme; keep the theme

Kids are fickle. One minute they want to be Buzz Lightyear for Halloween and the next they want to be a Lego character. It’s for this reason that children absolutely cannot be trusted with the theme for their own birthday party. So what’s a parent to do? Provide two options for them to choose from that meet the following criteria: available and accessible. Your daughter may adore some obscure show on Netflix, but if those party favors aren’t at Costco? Well, you’re the one left scouring the internet at 2:00 a.m. looking for a tablecloth that costs $40 and may or may not arrive in time.

Hard no.

Two options will give your child some autonomy and you a lot of sanity. Once decided, lock it in. No changes. No deviations. You’ll thank me later.

Pro Tip: Use KC Parent's Party Guide to find the perfect place to host your party!

Skip the cake

Not to be gross, but have you ever watched a child blow out candles on their birthday cake? And then you want to pass that cake around to other children? Nahhhh.

Consider taking the easier—and more sanitary—route and go with cupcakes. Cupcakes are kid-sized, individually wrapped, and they don’t require a sharp object to distribute. Win, win, win.

Afraid your child won’t feel special without their own cake? Fair enough. Consider having a small, family-sized cake for after everyone goes home. You’ll save some dough and get better pictures of your kiddo blowing out the candles.

Save present opening for later

It’s a hard truth, but opening presents during the birthday party stresses out every single person there. You’re worried your child won’t seem grateful enough. The other parents can’t get their kid off the bounce house to come and watch your kid open the presents. There’s jealousy and wrapping paper and tears and temper tantrums. Enough. Let the other parents know to place their gift on the table and your child will be opening the presents after everyone has gone home. Their relief will be observable. Just remember that your child does need to send a thank you note for the presents they receive. It might be 2023, but manners and thankfulness never get old.

If the idea of helping your child write 23 thank you notes is overwhelming … see the next tip.

Don’t invite so many people

Let’s be real; how many true, close friends does your kid have? My son can’t even remember his best friend’s name sometimes. No, I am not kidding.

It is not being rude or taking any joy from your child by keeping their party small. Consider keeping the guest list of friends to less than five. Bear in mind this means you can’t send a bunch of invites in your child’s school backpack to be distributed. It’s best to locate the emails or phone numbers of your guests’ parents and invite them individually. That might be a little more work on the front end, but the amount of time, money and energy you will get back is well worth it.

Take it away … far away

It’s tempting to have a big blowout at home. You don’t have to go anywhere; everyone comes to you. Super easy, right?

Wrong.

Kids will find their way into every room in your house, especially the ones you block off with a big sign that says “DO NOT ENTER.” They will flush toys down the toilet. They might draw on your walls. They will raid your fridge. And guess who gets to clean all that up later? It’s you.

A birthday party at a park, a bounce house, a skating rink or just about anywhere that doesn’t have your address on it is a much better deal for everyone. And it doesn’t have to be expensive. Parks are as close to free as you can possibly get. A pizza party at a local movie theater is surprisingly affordable. If your child has a friend with a similar birthday, consider a double party and split the cost down the middle.

There are a lot of ways to save or splurge with a birthday party, but if you can splurge on the location and have it outside the home, you’ve made a great choice.

 Gift bags are a no

Maybe I’ll get heat for this, but it’s the absolute truth. You don’t need to hand out gift bags. No sane guest that attends a birthday party should ever expect a present for themselves.

Teach this lesson to your children early and often: The guest of honor receives the presents, and the guests get treats and the honor of being invited. Done and done.

Don’t let anyone tell you that you’re being stingy or tacky for not having a gift bag. Half the time the items in those gift bags get instantly donated or end up in a landfill. Spend the extra money you save on better snacks or a fun game.

Designate a photographer

Trust me on this. You will not remember to take photographs of the day. Ask your good friend or spouse to take pictures throughout the day. You want to remember these moments, but you’re also hosting and need to focus on guests. Take the photos task off your plate and enjoy the day.

Birthday parties are inherently a lot to handle. Don’t beat yourself up if a few things go awry during the day. It’s best to use your child as a barometer. Are they laughing? Smiling? Excited? If those criteria are met, it’s a win. Your child won’t remember if the cupcakes were dry or the décor didn’t match. They’ll remember you made their day amazing, and that’s all that matters.

Pro Tip: Use KC Parent's Party Guide to find the perfect place to host your party!

Quick Birthday Party Hints:

1. Indicate whether a guest’s parent can stay or whether their child should be dropped off. It’s OK to say these things. Seriously, be direct!
2. If your child brings invitations to class, they must invite everyone. If you are choosing a smaller invite list, reach out to the parents of the guests or mail the invite directly to them.
3. Don’t feel like family and friends have to be at the same party—it’s OK to celebrate with family in a smaller setting later.
4. Remember this party is about your child, not what people think of you. Do what’s best for your kiddo and you’ll never go wrong.

 Kim Antisdel is a freelance writer and interior design sales rep for KC. She lives in Liberty with her husband, stepdaughters and son.