Making Play Dates Work
Most parents would agree that getting their child in on a few play dates with other kids is a socially beneficial experience. I, too, would share this thought. Especially since my child is our only right now, the exposure with other children, different personalities, new experiences, and even experiencing a little conflict is actually a great thing developmentally for her. But, like all things, nothing is full proof, and there are still other issues that arise with a play date:
1. The mom who brings her sick kid to a play date. Yuck! Please keep the snotty-nose kiddos at home for another day. There's nothing worse than coming home with the sniffles because some other child was wiping his snot all over the toy cars.
2. The awkward hits, scratches, slaps, and (occasionally) bites that happen. It's true. Young children are very territorial with their stuff, even if it's technically someone else's. How do you handle these moments? Your kid is innocently playing with a Magnadoodle, another child eyes it from across the room, and just walks over and whacks your kid on the head because he wants it. Do you correct that child? Do you wait for the other parent to? And how do you teach your child that yes, you need to forgive Andrew for hitting you, but no, Mommy doesn't think that behavior is okay?
3. Some kids just don't play well with other kids. That may be exactly the reason why this parent is choosing to bring her child to a play date - to acclimate her child to social norms and appropriate behavior. This is a great place to do it! Just please make sure to anticipate problems that might arise due to the social struggle that exists (such as biting, hitting, pushing - all behaviors listed above and more).
My advice for making play dates work well is to know your kids well. What makes them tick? What situations or times of the day work best (or not so great) for your kiddos? Maybe your child struggles to take turns and share. How can you be one step ahead of this problem before it results in someone else getting hurt? If a play date is scheduled 30 minutes after your child normally eats snack, maybe let them munch on one in the car, or better yet, bring one for him to eat at the play date. Kids are usually in a better mood if their tummies are full.
Anticipate what your child needs in order to be successful, realize that kids are still learning how to socially get along, and ask God for patience as you instruct and direct your children! It is our job, our privilege, our delight, to teach our children how to be kind, thoughtful of others, helpful, and empathetic. This is a great stage for these life lessons!