Memo to Parents: Stop Saying “I’m Fat”
Seated on the floor with legs stretched out before her, my perfectly proportioned and petite 8-year-old niece recently gazed at her bare legs and sighed, “My thighs are fat.”
My son is 13, has washboard abs from swimming and has asked us far too often for the number of calories on his dinner plate.
Such everyday scenarios reflect our children’s growing sensitivity to body image and weight issues. The media is saturated with unrealistic and unattainable body shapes, and our children are more vulnerable than ever to such images.
Unfortunately, the incidence of eating disturbances is increasing among children and teens across America. However, as parents we can play a major part in lowering their risk. The National Eating Disorders Association reports the onset of eating disorders is usually in adolescence, but EVEN KINDERGARTENERS can exhibit symptoms. So from an early age, parents should engage children in discussions of healthy bodies and healthy eating.
What are the Symptoms?
Anorexia Nervosa is a refusal to maintain a minimally normal weight for height, fear of gaining weight, and preoccupation with weight and body shape.
Bulimia Nervosa is over-eating in secret followed by compensatory behavior (self-induced vomiting or use of diuretics). Bulimics often fast, exercise compulsively, and become overly concerned with weight and shape.
Binge Eating Disorder involves binge eating with an absence of compensatory behaviors.
Who Develops an Eating Disorder?
The NEDA estimates that 11 million Americans struggle with an eating disorder. University of Minnesota Professor Dianne Neumark-Sztainer, an expert on eating disturbances in adolescence, identifies three types of risks for developing an eating disorder. These include poor body image/low self-esteem, messages in the environment that thin bodies are most attractive, and dieting or binging.
Three Prevention Strategies
1. Help your child develop a better body image. Stress health, not thinness. In my niece’s case, her mother explained her thighs were “just right” and how not everyone’s legs look quite the same. Talk to your kids about the importance of exercise, and encourage them to participate in team sports. Current research indicates athletes feel better about their bodies and weight than non-participants.
2. Model healthy behavior. Do not call yourself fat or talk negatively about your own body. If you are trying to lose weight, let your child know you are doing so to improve your health. You should avoid diets, skipping meals, and diet pills and instead model healthy eating and good exercise habits.
I realized my own adolescent son was influenced by hearing others count points for the Weight Watchers program. It was necessary to educate him about the program and the reasons he needed to consume many more calories than weight watching adults.
Teach your child self-respecting strategies for coping with negative emotions and stress. Eat healthy meals at home for, as Dr. Neumark-Sztainer writes, “family meals can play a major role in preventing eating disorders, especially in adolescent girls.” We already knew the importance of eating family meals together, so here’s another added benefit.
3. Discuss images in magazines and on television.
We need to help boys and girls reject these unattainable images in the media. Adolescent girls are especially vulnerable to fashion magazines. Explain to your child that professional athletes and actresses like Miley Cyrus or Keira Knightley often work out for many hours daily to maintain such low weight. Help your child to understand genetics and the fact that healthy bodies are not one size fits all.
For more information about eating disorders, contact the National Association of Eating Disorders (NationalEatingDisorders.org ) toll-free helpline at 800.931.2337.