Mom’s Toolbox of Sanity Savers

Ask kids what their favorite part of summer is and you’re likely to get something about how relaxing and unstructured it is. But given that COVID-19 has already given most families an early out and a lot of downtime at home, more of the same could be daunting. Just how do you manage to maintain a semblance of order without hyper-managing the family calendar? Have no fear. We’ve got you covered!

Build a Family Bucket List

Pinterest and moms groups have beautifully curated family summer bucket lists that provide inspiration. But if you’re a rule follower, they can also seem intimidating and overwhelming. After all, not all folks are up for accomplishing 50 “relaxing” activities during their warm weather spare time. Call a family meeting where everyone builds a top pick bucket list of his own (put a cap on the number of items you’re comfortable with). Encourage each person to circle the top favorite activity, which will take precedence, and then look for common items among family members, which can help limit the final list. What you find might surprise you—like the fact that the kids aren’t all that interested in creating homemade slime, despite its popularity on generic summer bucket lists (mess averted!). Make sure activities are a mix of things that take place indoors and outdoors in case of inclement weather. Once your list is built, hang it up in a highly trafficked area and work together to achieve those items at a life-giving pace. It can be tempting to do too much too soon, but remember, summer is months long and you’re wise to save some of those most beloved activities for the middle or even the end of the season. If you need Bucket List inspiration, check out pg. 64.

Maintain (or Tune Up) a Quiet Time Hour

Even if your kiddos kicked naps to the curb years ago, establishing a quiet time hour can be a lifesaver on long summer days—naps optional! By having all the kids go to their rooms for an hour or so, siblings can have a much-needed degree of separation. Quiet time also allows the introverts in your brood the time to decompress, and, equally important, gives Mom a time to catch her breath! Quiet time for older kids can look like many things: listening to audio dramas, drawing, building with Legos or getting lost in a book. If quiet time isn’t an established routine in your home, celebrate its advent by helping your kids equip their rooms with activities you deem “quiet-time worthy,”  such as a CD player and headphones or a small bookshelf for kids’ favorite reads.

Establish Your Boundaries

Screen time boundaries are one of the more inevitable challenges children and parents face when boredom strikes. Communicating your expectations is key. Some families require that chores be done before screens go on. Yet others build a checklist of choice activities that need to take place first—practicing a musical instrument, for instance, or playing outside. Some families offer a reward system in which screen time is earned for every minute spent free reading or the like. Still other parents have an anything goes mentality. It’s all up to you, but it helps your whole family when you communicate your expectations up front!

Devise a Family Fun Night

For years now, Friday has been a long-standing family movie night for my family. It’s the perfect respite after a long week of extracurricular activities and work and school. Summer doesn’t change that and actually gives a beautiful sense of structure (albeit a FUN structure) to a rather lackadaisical season. It’s the entire family’s favorite part of the week; the only night that we eat (popcorn and a charcuterie board are the go-to’s of choice) in front of and watch TV as a family. Per house rules, the phones are put away and it’s a time to only watch a new release, either new to the whole crew or new to the kids but a childhood favorite of my husband or me. Family fun nights don’t have to be limited to spending time around the TV either. They can be a time for board games, read-alouds, baking or more! By establishing a family fun night (or morning or afternoon), you build family culture that can be enjoyed long after the summer season.

Learn Some Life Skills

Class time is all about the three Rs. Home life is all about applying those skills in the real world. Boost retention between semesters by letting academic and life skills converge, no worksheets required! Ask your kids to see what new skills they’d like to learn over the summer. Maybe your child wants to be a master chef but struggles with fractions or measurement conversions. If so, give him a designated meal to cook once a week, let him build the meal plan within a set budget, assist in grocery shopping, and work on doubling or halving a recipe. Summer is also a great time for tweens and teens to set up a bank account, learn to balance a checkbook or perform car maintenance like changing a tire or changing the oil. Pick one or two skills that you’d like to see mastered over the summer and then devise a plan. Who will be teaching this skill? How long will it take? What tools are required? How will you determine that the skill has been mastered?

Let Them Be Bored

Boredom gets a bad rap but it’s honestly one of the best things that can happen to a child. Essentially the search for neural stimulation, boredom is what happens when that stimulation isn’t satisfied. If it can't be found around you, then your brain takes it upon itself to make it. Daydreaming occurs when you have to “go inside your head” to find that stimulation. Not surprisingly, boredom can produce creativity, and it’s also found to improve mental health. Don’t feel compelled to structure every hour of your child’s day. Rest in the knowledge that one of the greatest things you can give your kids this summer is the gift of free time.

Lauren Greenlee is a homeschooling mom of three who lives for summer. She and her boys consider it a good day if they’ve all been in the pool long enough for their fingers to get all pruny. She writes from her Olathe home.