My Big Fat Greek Wedding is Actually Italian

Getting all of “the cousins” together to see a movie in the theatres is no easy feat in our Italian family. That’s probably why it only happens once a year. It seems the interest in the same movie is simultaneous, and it is decided upon that we will all go see that movie together. “The cousins” include my first cousins, aunt and uncles, and grandparents – so about 25 people. When I refer to “the relatives”, that is a completely different umbrella. Basically, if we can figure out how a person might even slightly be related to us, you’re a relative! So, the 800 people at my wedding reception in 2004 would be a mixture of cousins and relatives. Yep, 800.

‘My Big Fat Greek Wedding” is the movie of choice, so we pile into our vans, get Nana and her walker, and head to AMC. We file into the aisles – kids in one aisle, parents in the other – and the story begins. Pop! Open up the cans of coke that you brought into the theatre. Crinkle! Open up the bags of candy that you also brought into the theatre. The conversation while waiting for the show is a bit on the boisterous side – a sure sign that we are enjoying ourselves and having a good time.

Now, it must be stated that I love my family. We are so unique (just like every family), but we are comical without even trying to be. If you’ve been to the theatres, you are familiar with the reminder to turn off your cell phone. It actually comes up on the big screen there, so you really don’t have an excuse for missing it.

Fast forward 30 minutes into the movie…my aunt’s cell phone goes off. And she answers it! “Hello? Oh, hi bay! Listen, can I call you back, I’m in a movie right now? Oh, I’m sitting here with my kids and the rest of the cousins watching My Big Fat Greek Wedding. I know, I know! It looks so funny, that’s why we all came to see it together!” At this point, the rest of us are a little embarrassed that she has actually answered the phone. Her sons abruptly turn around and say, “Ma, get off the phone! You’re in a movie!” (For the record, her phone went off a second time…and she answered it…a second time!).

Every five minutes or so, I hear my grandma using her “stage whisperer” voice. “Who’s that guy? What did he say? Where are they going?” Then, the row with parents, aunts, and uncles behind us decide they want some popcorn. Enter round two of stager whisperers: “Do you guys want some popcorn? Anybody thirsty – do you want a drink? Ask your brother. What about some candy?” An exacerbated “no” resounds from our row. Can’t we just quietly, unobtrusively watch a movie without everyone looking at us? Ten minutes later, they file back in with popcorn, drinks, courtesy cups to share, and the passing out of more food begins.

As the movie continues, we can’t help but laugh (out loud) at how Italian this “Greek” movie seems. Every scene feels like I just lived it last week – the food, the interaction, the big hair, the camaraderie among the cousins, the stories (oh the stories!), and did I mention the food? For us, it seems more like a reality show than just a movie out in the theatres. As funny as that is, considering the movie I’m referencing, there’s something about feeling connected to people and experiences that makes a place feel like home.

Now I hear snoring….that’s my aunt, who really needs to get a good night of sleep…and snorting laughter….that’s my mom, who can’t contain herself once she gets going. My cousins and I look at each other, thinking, Are we really related to these people?’ (snorting laughter, loud snoring, stage whisperer), but we just end up shaking our heads and laughing.

For all the quirks and oddities that surround my family, they wouldn’t be who they are without them. And for me, Kansas City wouldn’t be home without my family.