Nine Smart Tips to Help Keep Your Child Safe

Parenting seems trickier these days, doesn’t it? Opportunities abound for parents to worry—especially about how to keep our kids safe. I think a lot of it is due to the exorbitant amount of information bombarding us from the never-ending news cycle as well as social media. Nostalgia makes us yearn for parenting’s simpler times when we could safely shoo the kids outside and tell them not to come back until the streetlights come on. But we want the simpler times for our own children’s sake too, right? So how do we allow freedom and independence during childhood while still ensuring our children’s safety? Let’s take a look at some tips from other parents craving a more idyllic childhood for their own kids.

Talk about family safety rules early, often and as situations come up.

I have reminded my children since they were young that they were never to go near water without an adult, and every time we saw or walked by ice, I made sure to add they were never to step onto ice without checking with an adult first either. I also explained why, so they would have a better understanding of why that was our rule. Other rules include always wearing a helmet on toys with wheels. We implemented this important rule just as soon as our kids were old enough to toddle along on their Strider balance bikes, around 18 months, so they haven’t known anything different. I am thankful we’ve had this rule in place because my youngest got a concussion from a bike fall when he was 5 years old. I truly think his helmet saved his life. I, too, follow this rule when I ride my road bike. I’ve fallen on a training ride and was very grateful my helmet protected my head. Keeping some extra helmets on hand is helpful so you can easily enforce your house rule for friends that come over to ride, too.

Teach kids how not to get lost and how to find help if they do.

Teach preschoolers your full name and phone number ASAP and teach them to look for a mommy or worker to ask for help if they get lost. I would teach and have my kids practice reciting this information while I pushed them in the stroller or strapped them in their car seats. Those times of undivided attention worked well for them to focus.

Frequent reminders here and there work well to help kids commit this information to memory. We, unfortunately, had an opportunity to implement this lesson once when my middle son, then 3, ran off in the opposite direction at Deanna Rose Children's Farmstead. Luckily, I had eyes on him, but he instantly panicked and found a mom and told her my name and phone number. This was a teachable moment, and he didn’t want to get lost ever again.

Another idea comes from Michael Houghton, mother of two: “Before my kids had cell phones and we went to a large, highly populated place, I wrote my phone number on their arms with a Sharpie in case we got separated. I also taught them that if that happens, try to find an adult that works there over a random adult. It actually happened at Silver Dollar City when they were 4. It was awful and scary, but we found each other that way.”

Show how and when to talk to strangers.

This is one of the trickier things to teach young children. It’s easy to say, “Don’t ever talk to strangers,” and to harp stranger dangers, but what if you also want to teach your children how to be friendly to their neighbors walking their dog by your yard while they’re out playing? I think we all have a gut feeling about who’s safe to give a friendly wave and hello to and who we feel uncomfortable around. I think we have to steer our children into learning how to trust their own instincts a little bit, too. So maybe you encourage your kids to wave at neighbors strolling by when they say hello but to know firmly they are never to approach a stranger’s car or that adults should not ask kids for help. Our funny family anecdote for this is when our pediatrician asked my then 3-year-old daughter at her well visit, “What do you say when a stranger offers you candy?” My sweet girl said, “Tell them ‘thank you’?” We went over this scenario frequently after this and changed out candy with puppies, toys, ice cream and other temptations to make sure she knew to reject anything offered by a stranger.

Keep no secrets.

This is an important lesson to teach and revisit with all children. Lori Tate, mother of three, tells her kids, “No one should ask you to keep secrets from your mom and dad.” She also describes the difference between a surprise and a secret. “A surprise can be told or shared, just not yet. An example being what you got Dad for his birthday or going to a surprise party for someone. They will eventually find out. It doesn’t stay a secret for forever.”

Establish that kids can say no to an adult and have agency over their own bodies.

This is also a tricky one in today’s climate because we want our children both to respect authority but to also have agency over their own bodies. If they feel uncomfortable around an adult, they should be able to safely let you know any time. This includes having the right to decline giving a relative a hug if they don’t want to without it making a scene. This leads into our next tip.

Teach children proper body awareness.

Children should know the proper names of all body parts, including private parts. It’s also wise to remind them that no one is to touch any body part that would be covered by their swimsuit. I would often mention this during the kids’ bath times that only Mommy can wash them to take care of them and then sometimes a doctor, with Mommy’s permission, will have to check to make sure their body is staying healthy. I would remind them of this before well check visits to the doctor, too, so they knew what to expect. Regularly discussing these lessons calmly in a matter-of-fact way is a foundation for safety. Then, on top of that, discuss how they should absolutely tell Mom or Dad if anyone makes them feel uncomfortable and that they would not get in trouble because they are kids and adults will be held responsible.

Have clear family technology rules.

Decide which games, websites and shows are appropriate for your children and how they can know. This may mean they are only allowed to watch shows you’ve approved, shows with a certain age rating, only PBS or shows you select for them. At the risk of sounding like an old lady, I remember that when we were kids, we had limited options. Select cartoons aired on a couple of channels at certain times of the day, but other than that, we had to do something else like go outside or use our imaginations. Today, kids have virtually unlimited choices and too much freedom with all that’s online, so be sure to set up some family guidelines and safeguards.    

We reluctantly gave our daughter an old cell phone we had when she began middle school. She is able to call, text and get online using Wi-Fi and has to ask for permission to download apps. We wanted her to be able to be social with her friends and have a way to communicate with us, but she has limited time with it and it is stationed in our kitchen. She is not allowed to have social media yet, and it’s clear that it’s our phone we let her borrow. We let her know we can get on her phone at any time and frequently do check in on what she’s been up to on the phone. Having the phone is also helpful when she stays home on her own since we don’t have a landline. The pattern with our daughter made clear for our younger sons the family rule of not getting a cell phone until middle school. Be clear and up front about your parameters and follow through on consequences when rules are broken.

Teach children risk management.

Children are mostly born curious and reckless, which, for kids, is all sorts of thrilling, but for parents can be more like heart stopping. Children need to learn how to assess risk on their own now to help them later in life, though. For example, when children are younger, they may decide it’s worth the possibility of falling out of a tree to experience the views and sense of accomplishment from climbing it. They may also decide the possibility of wiping out and getting a scraped knee is more than worth the fun of pulling their roller blade wearing siblings by jump rope behind their bike. (Don’t ask how I know!) Definitely encourage kids to think about what will happen or how they would handle different situations that could happen. Guide them with specifics: That hill looks steep, so make sure to brake slowly the entire time. This campfire is hot and will burn you if you get too close. This knife is sharp, so be sure to cut carefully. Specifics are more effective than a generic, “Be careful!” Children may not know what the risks are in any given situation, but what an amazing gift to allow kids the opportunity to try new things and to develop their own problem-solving skills. Then perhaps when they’re older, they will better assess the risk of getting into a car with someone who’s been drinking or going on a solo hike without letting someone know their location.

Understand what to do in the event of an emergency.

Kids need to be aware of what constitutes an emergency and what to do if they’re ever in one. From housefires and weather events to someone’s getting hurt, kids should know where to go and how to call for help. It’s wise to make a fire plan and to practice how to safely get out in different scenarios, where to meet and how to call 911. Make sure to test the smoke alarms when your children are home, so they recognize that sound if there’s a fire. I recently had a health scare where I randomly passed out after putting my kids to bed while my husband was traveling for work. Luckily, I was came to enough to call for my son and instruct him how to call for help. I ended up going to the ER and, thankfully, being fine, but it was a good reminder that we need to keep reviewing with kids what to do in case something like that happens again.

Parenting is definitely not for the faint of heart, but it’s always worth the extra effort to raise and enjoy safe kids—even if you do end up with a few broken bones along the way.

            Stephanie Loux is the mother of Layla, 12, Mason, 10, and Slade, 7, and has been through a variety of scenarios (stitches, glue, ER visits, broken collarbone, broken arm and concussion, to name a few) trying to keep her three kids safe.