Shortcuts to Sanity (Avoiding a Mommy Meltdown)
It’s that magical time of year where somehow, we have to make all the magic happen! Each year I feel the weight of the holidays fall on my shoulders thanks to the season’s mad rush, social media comparison and my own weird pressure I put on myself to make all the things happen in a festive manner. And each year, I’m exhausted by the never-ending to-do list I’ve created for myself. This year let’s put our heads together to share some shortcuts to sanity and ways to avoid a mommy meltdown.
It’s no surprise I would reference a book or podcast, and this time I have both! Kendra Adachi is known online as the Lazy Genius and has a podcast called The Lazy Genius Podcast, as well as a new book this year called The Lazy Genius Way. Both of these are amazing resources throughout the year but especially during this chaotic season as we shut down 2020. Adachi’s mantra is simple: “Be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don’t.” So first we need to name what matters during the holidays, build a plan around those things, and find some shortcuts for how to make it all happen while keeping a festive air about us.
The key is to sit down with your family before the Polar Express hauls us toward the holidays and the end of the year (finally!) and schedule what you know and what you would like to make happen. This could include company holiday parties, family gatherings, the annual ugly sweater party or the weekend you bake Christmas cookies with all your sisters. One thing that I consistently want more of each Christmas, is downtime to read my beautiful Advent books. I always start and make it about halfway through before the practice inevitably falls by the wayside because everything becomes so frantic. So maybe that means I set aside Wednesday evenings to catch up on reading by the Christmas tree. I look forward to the quietness of the holiday season when I take a minute to soak it all up.
Another lens for viewing and planning some sanity savers is to honestly ask yourself what you enjoy during this time of year. What do your family and friends enjoy? Perhaps you enjoy different aspects of the season and could swap services? One of my very favorite part-time jobs while in college was wrapping gifts at our campus bookstore. I listened to holiday music overhead and chatted with customers while I wrapped their packages in perfect boxes in gorgeous paper. On the other hand, making sugar cookies and gingerbread houses with my children is not one of my favorite things. So perhaps I could swap with a friend, and she could bake for my family while I wrapped her gifts. Another idea would be to have one friend make some freezer meals while the other bakes holiday treats. Then you can swap. This could make a fun girls night idea too. Also, have the freedom to drop some items off your list, such as those gingerbread houses. If they don’t matter to your family, skip them and use that time to do something you enjoy more, like visiting the Paulie’s Penguin Playground in Olathe.
Do you host holiday gatherings? Even if you enjoy hosting, say yes to any help offered. Scoot your hospitality pride aside and let your friends and family bring an appetizer, side, dessert, drinks or even paper plates. There’s no need to be a holiday hero, and you may be a happier host with some additional hands on deck. If you’re particular about how you’d like your gathering to be or which food you’d prefer, ask for specific help such as, “It would be great if you could bring a vegetable tray” or “I had in mind a nice loaf of bread from the Corner Bakery Cafe to go along with the soup.”
If you’d rather not ask for personal help, take the opportunity to hire it out! If it’s within your means, hop on those swap sites or ask around for who makes the best gingerbread cookies, pies, etc., and help support local businesses and families trying to make some extra cash this season. We have actually moved away from all our family right before Thanksgiving, so because we were still unpacking, we ordered our entire Thanksgiving dinner from Hy-Vee. It was pretty amazing! We still had our traditional meal without the stress of making the magic happen. (Another year we moved on Christmas Eve too!)
Another Lazy Genius tip is to “decide once.” This could pertain to deciding once on what all teacher gifts will be for the year or even every year. You could decide once on which side you always bring (it could even be purchased instead of prepared at home!) This idea has been around for a while now, but even giving children “something you want, something you need, something you wear and something to read” can help narrow down your choices in a sea of possibilities. Choose one festive outfit that’s your go-to for this year’s gatherings so you have a plan and don’t have to fret over what to wear last minute.
Other sanity savers include stocking up and keeping baking and cooking staples on hand for when you have a moment and inspiration to make something. Also, utilize your freezers and make and freeze all your cookie doughs, pie crusts, parts of sides and dinner or complete freezer meals to save future you in the coming weeks. Kristen Krogmeier, mother of two, says, “I start shopping Oct. 1 with a goal of being completely done shopping by Thanksgiving. I also host a cookie exchange with good friends to lighten the baking load and to keep me from having too many in my home.”
As you go through the next few weeks, keep a note handy to write down or type things and ideas that helped or would help next year so each year becomes easier and easier.
Stephanie Loux is the mother of Layla, 10, Mason, 8, and Slade, 5, and loves all the traditions and memory-making of the holidays but wishes for more space in between to savor the season.