Terrific Toddlers!
Sweat trickles down your back as you stand in line at the grocery store with a 2-year-old who’s hanging on your legs and screaming because you won’t buy him the candy bar that’s at his eye level. To top it off, a kind-intentioned stranger says, “Enjoy this time, you will soon miss it!”
Very funny, you think, as you clench your teeth and clamp down the urge to scream. That well-meaning person probably is raising teenagers or has adult children and grandchildren with not a candy bar tantrum in sight. The truth of that comment can get lost in the sticky challenges of parenting a toddler, but even though toddlers get a bad rap, this feisty phase of childhood has a silver lining. Your little one has transitioned from baby to toddler and is ready to grow in remarkable ways.
In the heated moment, of course, it’s hard to juggle your purse, groceries and the tiny human you have. Take a breath and know you’ll be outside in a minute where you can hug the screaming out of him. And no doubt you have a more appropriate treat that will pacify him once he’s away from the chaos.
To avoid all-too-common meltdown situations, plan ahead. No matter what outing you are undertaking, fill your backpack or diaper bag with treats, water, favorite toys, books and anything else to distract your toddler. Play games. I spy something red, do you? What is that yellow thing? A banana, your favorite! A running commentary keeps kids focused and engaged.
The longer you parent, the more tools and techniques you’ll develop to handle your terrific toddler. Read on for some more solid tips to keep you and your little one on the track toward sanity and civility.
Get a clamp for the toilet lid. It has been rumored that a daughter, possibly mine, dumped her brother’s entire collection of Hot Wheels cars into the toilet! Yes, they will flush down.
At this age, a chief tool of exploration is taste. You’ve already babyproofed the big stuff. Now it’s time to secure the cat food, dog food, dirt and dead bugs. Rest assured, though, kids are quite resilient—if not, how did any of us or our ancestors survive?
If toddlers are itchy, irritable or whiny, put them in water. The tub, the outdoor mini pool, the hose. This will get you through many hot moments! On that same note, get physical. Just like a dog begs for a walk when he’s antsy, a wound-up toddler is begging for action. A little play in the backyard can make a world of difference. My daughter recently moved with her two toddlers to New York City. Her lifesaver is the many parks within walking distance of her small apartment!
And although you may think your child is starving herself, trust this won’t happen. If toddlers survive on only crackers for days, they will eventually eat a grilled cheese sandwich or something else nutritious. Be sure to check with your pediatrician to make sure your youngster is on track for weight.
Understand that when toddlers run and hide, they want to be chased. Eventually, when you find them, they’ll reward you with snuggles. This is a first way of practicing independence. Don’t worry—they aren’t leaving the nest just yet.
All messes can be cleaned up! If your painting project goes awry, put plastic down next time. And don’t become psychotic over the toilet paper all over the bathroom, the lipstick all over her face or the flour thrown on the floor. It will soon be clean, and you’ll miss these days!
Use your power for good when it comes to your daily life. Help toddlers learn that the world is unpredictable but that they are safe and well, and there so many possibilities for their wonderful lives. If you do nothing else, do this. With all that’s going on today, shield those bright young minds and, instead, play, smile, lie in the grass and look at the clouds, feed the fish at the park and take naps together.
Teach children not to focus on comparisons, even though social media tempts us daily to do just that. If your baby didn’t wave bye-bye at 6 months, what did it matter? He learned to eventually. Also, acquire your own support system by making friends with other parents who are understanding and flexible. Meeting up with like-minded families means you won’t always need a babysitter in order to hang out because the kiddos will entertain each other enough for you to have an adult conversation.
Learn with your children. They scooted to crawl, then pulled themselves up to cruise and stumbled right into the coffee table! This is much like how you’re learning to parent—a little at a time, through trial and error and sometimes a crash. You’ll have those crash-and-burn days, but you’ll also have days when you stand up and run, dance, sing, play and see the bright colors of the world. All this parenting effort is so worth it.
You can do it! With a little sleep and coffee, of course. And a willingness to forgive yourself. “Mommy guilt” can haunt you persistently, no matter what stage your child is in, but the fact that it does means you are a good parent who cares about loving and equipping this little life. No one is perfect, and that confounding child eating grass and testing boundaries will grow up to make you the proudest parent. Hard to imagine it now—but it will happen.
Judy Goppert lives in Lee’s Summit. She enjoys drawing on her personal experiences to write about the nuances of everything wonderful about life.
Sources: ScaryMommy.com, MightyMomsClub.com.