The Art of the Thank You Note
This treasured tradition is still a timely show of appreciation.
In today’s texting, Instagramming and Facetiming world, there is something special to actually making a card, buying one or printing one off the computer, then thoughtfully writing a thank you for a specific item received or time spent together.
That is not to say that a Facetime call to Grandma is not appreciated! Send the card to her then talk to her for a double dose of love!
In today’s world of expectation and overconsumption, children often become overwhelmed with so much—especially around this time between Thanksgiving and Christmas. Children may receive gifts that are not exactly what they want and actually display disappointment or disgust after opening them. This is when we parents need to help them practice self-control techniques. Ahead of time, explain that Aunt Jean is just trying to please your children and that they need to remember love is involved.
In her Southern Living article “A Gracious Response: Teach Your Kids to Write a Thoughtful Thank You Note,” Betsy Cribb Watson writes, “Your little one will be able to ‘see’ the act of kindness when you explain this person loves you enough to spend their own money. They got in their car to go to a store and thought about what you’d like then spent time wrapping the present. You want to show that you’re grateful for all the things that went into giving the gift.”
In comes the thank you note opportunity! Thank you notes, a lost art in this emoji world, are as original as the Easter bunnies that appear on the Plaza every spring. Uniqueness and the personal touch make personally crafted thank you notes such a pleasure to receive.
Author and speaker Tricia Lott Williford, a remarried widow and mom of two, expands on this idea in her Parent Cue article “How to Teach Kids the Art of Writing Thank You Notes.” She says, “A written note is proof on the page. The root of happiness is gratitude, but the tricky thing about thankfulness is that it only exists in the act; nobody knows you’re thankful unless you say so. When you write it down, everybody knows how you feel. In addition, a handwritten note says you unplugged from technology, set aside time and returned to the most basic tools of written communication: pen and paper. There’s something beautifully intentional in a written note.”
When you consider the happiness a message like that can bring, you’ll find the fuel to guide your children in the process. “Think about it,” Williford writes, “in a giant pile of window envelopes with bills and junk, your name on a colorful envelope catches your eye. How fun it is to receive a pocketful of sunshine in your very own mailbox. It’s so easy to give that gift to someone else.” To drive home this point, send your child a thank you note. Perhaps for making his bed, being nice to his little sister or getting a good grade. He’ll be happy to spread some thankful sunshine then himself!
Williford says, “Handwriting is an extension of a person. Have you ever happened onto a letter written long ago? The handwriting nearly breathes on the page.” Think of those recipes stuck in a cookbook, written in your grandmother’s cursive! I have a beloved pizza recipe from my mother stained with tomato sauce! The messy, tomato-y sample of her handwriting is a treasure to me. Another example is how my son’s high school football coach had each young man write a thank you note to his parents. My son is 28 now, and I still have that handwritten note from his senior year! Truly, a handwritten thank you note deposits a tangible reminder of you into a dear one’s hands.
Here are some specific ways to encourage your youngsters to write their own thank you notes. First, Williford recommends to “keep a list of people to thank: teachers, hosts of playdates, cafeteria ladies, grandparents, even authors whose books you’ve enjoyed.” Don’t forget your letter carrier this holiday season! Start this and watch how aware your children become of people who do nice things. Add names as they come to your family’s mind.
Next, schedule a time together to write your notes. Let your kids know something special will happen at that time, just to add a little ceremony to the occasion. Perhaps you order pizza or make cookies together. Create a box of thank you note supplies, including notecards, markers, stickers and pens. And do it together! Ask Alexa to play a favorite song to get everybody motivated. Mom or Dad can offer to be the scribe for smaller children. Let them dictate to you, and the reading will be colorful and fun for the recipient. Imagine: “Thank you, Grandpa, for putting that icky worm on the hook and helping me with that slimy fish!”
Williford recommends using prompts and offering your kids sentence-starters. “‘I am thankful for … your gift is so important to me because … I will always remember when we…’” she offers. “These prompts get their ideas going, and they’re able to write with a true sincerity.”
Not much tops a handwritten note, but Williford says what we all know: “Done is better than perfect, and there is a lot to be said for the ease and availability of a thank you text, photo, or video via smartphone.” So even if you opt to send digital thanks, talk together ahead of sending the message or making the call to cultivate sincerity and joy in your children’s expressions of gratitude.
“When we teach our kids to embrace the lost art of the thank you note, we model for them a practical way to show thoughtfulness for the feelings of others and to appreciate someone’s sacrifice of time and effort,” Williford writes. “We help them begin to practice and show their gratitude, which is the recipe for a joyful life. And maybe, with enough seeds planted, your child will someday write a thank you note to you!”
An avid outdoors girl, Judy Goppert lives in Lee’s Summit. She enjoys drawing on her personal experiences to write about the nuances of everything wonderful about life.
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