The Way I See It

I’ve been taking in the world from an interesting perspective recently. For the past week, I’ve found myself confound to bedrest, now 34 weeks pregnant and crossing my fingers this baby of mine- along with what nurses have dubbed my “grumpy uterus”- will just chill out until we make it past the pre-term mark. As you can imagine, this poses an interesting challenge when you have two very active pre-school age children in your care and a husband who works on the opposite end of the city. And as ridiculous as it may sound, I honestly don’t know which prospect is worse- delivering a preemie a month and a half early or trying to instruct, love on, discipline, and care for a three year old and a four year old all while laying on my side for weeks on end. As you can imagine, neither prospect is very appealing.

We have taken our current situation in stride, simply focusing on one day at a time. I was hospitalized for four days and during that time, my mother in law held down the fort like a champ, even going as far as taking our kids on special outings and getting little “just because” presents for them. I’m pretty sure my boys thought they were on vacation while my husband and I were grappling with a more serious situation away from them. Since I’ve been discharged, we’ve received an influx of calls and e-mails, Facebook messages and texts. Family and friends have rallied together to ensure that my worst nightmare- kids climbing on top of the fridge or worse, running out the front door unattended- is not destined to happen. While I feel like a ticking time bomb, just waiting for labor to go off at any given second, I’m amazed at how my “heart health” has so improved throughout this season. My husband and I have been through tough times alone in the past and loneliness, coupled with stress or tragedy, can be an awful combination. That has not been our case in the least now. In fact, I have never felt so loved and cared for; before even having a chance to ask for help, help has presented itself. This girl’s “love tank” is overflowing! And in the process, I have made some interesting discoveries.

I’ve learned that, for starters, my kids are capable of much more than I realized.

The Type A personality in me has shuttered at the thought of letting my four year climb the counters and attempt to get his own breakfast, but all that got chucked out the window when necessity required it. And what do you know? I learned that he can whip up the meanest bowl of Cheerios this side of the Mississippi and pour a glass of juice right alongside the best of them. I’ve learned that the three year old can follow through on bringing my cell phone without pushing buttons, ending calls, or getting into the games settings (well, for the most part anyways). And, thank the Lord, both kids can open the front door to let scheduled visitors in and they haven’t run down the block unattended yet. We’ve got a good thing going here!

I’ve learned not to feel guilty for accepting help and to know that its a labor of love offered on the end of my family and friends.

I have three friends that have offered to come over this week to watch our boys- on top of their own three children- and each is providing lunch and dinner. If that’s not love, I don’t know what is! It almost hurts to see them offer so much of themselves... and yet, I know to apologize for all the work they are willing to go to is to decline a gift. A sweet, precious gift! The best thing I can do is let them know how truly thankful I am for their love and support during this time, and acknowledge the sacrifice they’ve made to care for my family at this time. And, hopefully, they know I would gladly return the favor!

I’ve learned that having a plan is a good thing, but being flexible is the best thing.

In my mind, I had this labor and delivery already figured out. I had my birthing suite already picked out (yes, you read that right... at the birthing center I’ve received care at, there are themed suites- woot woot!), I had my playlist set for the iPod, and I had every intention of utilizing a jet tub for pain relief. And that plan quickly went out the window when I had to transfer care for pre-term labor, something outside the birthing center’s jurisdiction. There was no point in fussing over what couldn’t be... all of a sudden, the goal was just to do what was in the best interest of Baby. Complications aside, I had a wonderful experience in the new maternity ward of a local hospital and I’m now in limbo between either institution- if I can make it to full term, then I can deliver at the birthing center and if not, I’ll deliver at the hospital I stayed at for pre-term labor complications. Both places have provided wonderful care and I feel as though I have two good options on my hands, opposed to relinquishing a good situation for a lesser desirable one.

I’ve learned that being on bedrest doesn’t lend itself towards doing all those projects I’d do if “I had the time”.

Now I have all the time in the world, but most of those “for later” projects come with physical demands. No crafting or organizing here. But it has forced me to slow down and look at things from a new perspective.

And you know what I see?

I see two little boys that are growing up before my eyes.

I see family and friends supporting us when we’ve needed it most.

And I see a bright future for a baby-to-come whom we have already seen is clearly loved by so many.