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Turning stalling into focus

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I’m still hungry! I’m sooo thirsty! One more story, please! The excuses children give to delay bedtime are many.

Stalling is no means limited to just bedtime either. Getting ready in the morning can be a monumental challenge, and so can getting out the door to run a simple errand.

How do you stop kids from stalling and keep them focused while transitioning to the next phase of the day?

Lee’s Summit mom LaTasha James has developed a system using closet organizers and the Amazon Alexa to help guide her children as they get ready in the morning.

The closet organizer makes it easy for the kids to see everything they need to get dressed, and the Alexa gives them verbal cues for other tasks, such as eating and brushing teeth.

“It has automated our entire process,” James says.

Most importantly, James says she’s not having to nag. If the kids follow the guides without requiring intervention, they earn a star for a chart. A week’s worth of stars earns them a toy or prize.

James also uses Google Home alarms to automate bedtime cleanup and preparation.

Lee’s Summit mom Michelle Wray says she has made a list of morning tasks for her daughters. They have it laminated, and the girls check off the tasks as they complete them each morning. The list also includes reminders about library books, homework sheets and other easily-forgotten things. Between this list and setting an alarm for the amount of time they have to eat breakfast, Wray says their morning routines have improved.

The need to have such a list began, Wray says, when both of her daughters had to start getting ready for school at the same time and ended up playing and distracting each other. Because breakfast proved to be an especially sticky issue, enforcing the consequence of no after-school screen time if they don’t finish breakfast has helped streamline mornings.

Overall, explaining expectations is key to making transitions easier.

“The first step is to not assume the kid knows exactly how to get ready or how to do the transition,” says Dr. Charles Fay, president of the Love and Logic Institute.

Also, consider rehearsing how to get out of the house in the morning, Fay suggests. As a parent, your nerves can be on edge while trying to get everyone out the door early on Monday morning, so why not try practicing the routine on a Saturday morning when the stakes aren’t as high?

Fay also suggests taking pictures of everything involved in the morning routine, then displaying these pictures where the child can see them to provide a visual morning guide.

Once expectations are in place, holding the child accountable to stay on task is easier, Fay says.

If a child still is unable to get herself ready on time despite preparation and guides, Fay says, go ahead and leave at the necessary time—even if she is still in her pajamas. She can bring her clothes in a bag and get dressed at school in these cases.

Teaching younger children about the hard-to-grasp concept of time is important. Consider providing your child with a clock and talk about time, when you need to leave and how long it generally takes to get ready.

For bedtime preparation, consider keeping the routine simple and make sure the child has had plenty of food and water before beginning the routine. The same tactics of using checklists, pictures or automated reminders can work for the bedtime rituals of taking a bath, brushing teeth, cleaning up toys and laying out the next day’s clothes.

Getting ready in the morning or going to bed at night in a quick and efficient manner is not something many children master easily, but a little parental planning can make it easier.

 

Daily routines made simple

Various methods help keep children focused as they get ready. Here are a few to consider:

Allison Gibeson, Lee’s Summit, is a freelance writer whose husband and 5-year-old son both like to stall bedtime by building creations with Legos and K’Nex.

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