Twin Birthdays
Most kids count down in anticipation to their birthdays, waiting for the special date when all the attention is turned to them: presents, a cake, even birthday spankings make the day special. But multiples have to share their special day with someone else, and knowing how to handle that can be tricky.
Although deciding on a joint or separate party can seem to be a quandary for the parents, many twins agree that for them, there is no question: Joint parties are the way to go.
“Tiffany and I have always celebrated our birthday together. We were 35 in July, and there have only been a handful of birthdays we haven't celebrated together. I wouldn't have wanted it any other way,” says Angie Lucas of Leawood, who is one minute younger than twin sister Tiffany Smith of Olathe.
Tyler Holloway, twin brother of Ethan of Kansas City, agrees. “We've shared a birthday our whole lives; we never knew or wanted anything different. After all, we had twice the new toys to play with than if there were just one of us,” Holloway says.
Beth Giesler of Liberty, mother of 7-year-old twin boys, makes sure to ask the twins what they want, instead of assuming they want a separate or joint party. “Every year I ask if they want to celebrate together or separately and it’s always been together! “ Giesler says.
Making the day special for each multiple is important, and there are many ways to accomplish this.
“I just want to be sure that they know how treasured they are by us and how special the day is for us,” says Amanda Jensen of Kearney, mother of 9- year-old twins, a boy and girl. Jensen accomplishes this by holding joint birthday parties, but with separate themes, cakes and presents. “I have always had a strong opinion that each child needs to feel like they had ‘their’ day,” Jensen says.
Giesler agrees that making the day special for both is important. “I do two separate cakes and we sing "Happy Birthday" to each child. I think this helps individualize their birthday,” she says.
Jensen also makes two cakes. “One thing I do is make a cake for each kid. I (so far) have made all of their cakes from scratch. They get to choose what flavor of cake I make,” Jensen says. “Some turned out to be not so pretty, but the kids remember them!” For her, it’s all about making the birthday special for her twins.
Giesler also lets the boys have a hand in planning the party and invitations. “They each get to help in planning the party with decorations, games, activities, where it is located. They also get to invite their own friends, which usually are the same, but again it gives them a chance to make a decision on their own.” She says.
Handling presents can be another issue, especially if parents host a joint party. “When the kids got older and started to invite school friends to their parties, we would make sure that Abby's friends knew that they didn't need to bring a present for Isaac, and vice versa,” Jensen says.
Lucas gives a twin’s perspective: “Our favorite thing to play with growing up, for example, was Barbies, so they would get us each a Barbie (but a different one). It was perfect! Tiff liked the more fashionable Barbies and I liked Barbie & the Rockers or the swimsuit Barbie. So as we got older, the gifts were a little more personalized to each of our own styles.”
With a little bit of creative thinking—even if celebrating together—multiples can feel like they have their own special day.
Jennifer Higgins is a freelance writer, mother and teacher from Kearney.