When to Walk Away From Homework

A couple of weeks ago, my children’s elementary school offered a “homework class” for parents. The point of the class was to provide parents with helpful tips, suggestions, and strategies for dealing with their children when it is homework time. I was not planning on attending the class, falling back on my usual excuses of being too busy, not having enough time and not really wanting to go. I changed my mind though when I thought about the struggles my wife and I face getting our children to do their homework.

Homework is a fight in my house. Neither one of my boys likes to do homework, neither wants to do homework, and neither will do homework without throwing some sort of fit. Needless to say, this is very frustrating for my wife and me. We have tried a variety of strategies to deal with homework, but nothing has worked. We needed help.

I learned several helpful strategies during the two-hour class, the one that really stuck with was when to “give up” on homework. Basically, this simply means that when the struggles of homework reach the point that I become frustrated and am ready to blow my top, it is time to pack the homework up and walk away. Homework is worth yelling at my children, it isn’t worth their tears, and it isn’t worth arguing about.

Although I was hesitant to use this strategy, I had no choice this past week as my oldest son completely broke down when studying for his spelling tests. After ten minutes of listening to him whine and cry and complain, I had simply had enough. I scooped up his stuff, packed it away in his backpack, and ended homework time. He was floored. Initially, he didn’t believe I was serious. Once he realized I was, I think he was happy that he had “gotten out of” finishing his homework. It didn’t take him long to think about the consequences though. Of course, he lost it when I realized he would have to finish his homework during recess the next day. Although this strategy didn’t help me avoid a meltdown on this particular night, I think that it will in the future.

When is it time to walk away from homework? When you are frustrated.