Why Boredom Is Okay!
When we were growing up, we dared not tell our parents we were bored lest they give us a chore to do to fill the time. That works some of the time, but even if they finish cleaning their room or taking out the trash or loading the dishwasher, kids will again tell you they’re bored!
You’re not a bad parent if your kids goad you into letting them get on the computer or sit in front of their favorite movie. The point is children need to engage in some unstructured time once in a while, too. As do we. Even adults and teenagers struggle to manage time well. If kids have the experience of deciding for themselves how to use periods of unstructured time, they’ll be steps ahead. This is the beginning of creativity, giving them a chance to imagine, invent and create.
Unstructured time gives youngsters a way to explore ideas and develop their unique gifts. For example, they may build a fort in the back yard, make a dog from clay, write a short story or song or simply study the bugs on the sidewalk. Einstein reportedly did this for hours!
As we all know, many people believe we are raising a generation of children addicted to screens. They are so used to screen entertainment they aren’t practiced at looking inside themselves for direction. And remember, they need some parental connection. All kids need to check in with their parents for refueling during the day. For example, when your child tells you he is bored, stop what you’re doing and focus on your child for five minutes. If you use this time to connect, or just chat and snuggle, your child will probably get the refueling he needs and run off with a smile to build blocks, color or chase his little sister.
Most of the time, children left to their own devices end up doing something interesting. Once kids get used to limitations on TV and electronics, they become better at entertaining themselves.
An idea parents and kids can try together is to create a Boredom Buster Jar. Write down ideas your child thinks will be fun do to and put them in the jar. Whenever she says she is bored, she picks three or so pieces of paper from the jar and chooses an activity.
Of course, the real issue with young children is that they need supervision. In such a case, when you can't supervise them, is it so terrible to put your toddlers in front of a screen for half an hour? Of course not. Choose something limited in length, so there's a natural ending to eliminate fights when you turn it off, and to keep your kids from seeing commercials. Give your children something to look forward to afterward.
Once your child learns to read, there is never nothing to do! Schedule a weekly library trip to select books that interest your child. Hook your child on the book by beginning to read it together. Check the internet or consult with your children’s librarian to find age-appropriate books.
Another idea is to include your child in whatever you’re doing. Small children enjoy washing windows, cooking dinner and helping fold laundry. Set a child-size table beside you and give children plastic food and cutlery or even provide their own little kitchen so they can be your mini me. Some other ideas are to let little ones wash the porch with water while you vacuum inside, or they can “clean out” the cupboard where you keep pots and pans.
Audio books are another way to stimulate your child’s imagination. Try giving your child washable markers and paper to draw pictures of what she is hearing as she listens to the story.
Another thought to consider is that boredom can serve as a relief from overstimulation and can even reduce stress. This freedom provides space for the mind to wander, the body to calm and the brain to process what’s important. It can even change your child’s outlook.
Most kids don’t like to wait for something to happen. They want every minute of the day filled in with something. Yet boredom can change their outlook from “there’s nothing to do” to “I’m free to do whatever!” We can teach our kids that boredom is their chance to look for new opportunities. Being bored can be a gift to our kids because it gives them time to find that toy they shoved into the back of the closet or to practice the piano scales they’ve been avoiding.
Raising children is a learning experience for us just as much as it means learning and growing for them! Learn to value boredom and enjoy growing and learning together. It’s our lifelong privilege with children.
Judy Goppert lives in Lee’s Summit. She enjoys drawing on her personal experiences to write about the nuances of everything wonderful about life.
Sources: AhaParenting.com, AllProDad.com