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Helping Kids Connect at Summer Camp

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Whether your children are attending an overnight or day camp this summer, one thing is likely to be on their minds: How will I fit in? Will I be able to make friends? Camp officials from around the metro are accustomed to this question, and they’ve got tips to help kids build lasting friendships around the campfire.

Be prepared

Part of feeling shy and awkward in a new place is not knowing what to expect, says Tonya Franken. As the administrative director of Olathe’s Culture House Arts Academy, Franken expects parents to gather a lot of information before choosing a program. Her advice is to “find out what those daily activities are ahead of time” so kids will arrive ready to choose their favorites. Arrange a meeting with counselors beforehand, if possible. “Recognize that staff and volunteers are friends as well,” Franken says. Knowing the structure and expectations going in, kids will be less anxious and better able to relax and relate to others.

 

According to Pam Watkins, director of operations for the metro area’s popular YMCA day programs, camp staff will also appreciate being prepared. Parents can help by “sharing information about their child so that the staff can tailor the experience for that particular child,” says Watkins.

Help them open up

Michael Megraw is the program director for Parkville’s Heartland Presbyterian Center, which operates several overnight camps. Heartland focuses on group participation to help campers loosen up with each other. “It’s just a place to be yourself,” Megraw stresses. “The less guarded you are and the more open you are, the faster you’ll develop those relationships.” And while parents often try to send their children to camp with a friend, Megraw says, those children “often have the most difficult time forming friendships, because they’re always attached to the person they come with.”

Megraw has found that even especially shy kids are usually strengthened by the camp experience. “When the parent comes to pick the child up, they’re not completely different, but you can tell the confidence is there.” Parents should be upbeat about the experience, whatever their fears. Fussing and coddling will likely raise a child’s anxiety level, so save the tears for after drop-off time.

Plan a friendship strategy

It doesn’t hurt to sit down with your child and plan a few concrete ideas for how to initiate relationships. Megraw reminds kids not to rely on first impressions and to be “willing to give people multiple chances, realizing that in the first interaction, everybody’s going to try to be tough.” After that, try to find out about other campers’ interests. Make the conversation about the other person. “The thing that makes kids click is the thing they’re willing to talk about the most,” says Megraw. Find out what that is and capitalize on it.

 

Tonya Franken of the Culture House agrees: “The best way to make friends is by being a friend.” Tell your child to look for that kid who is lunching alone or who didn’t hear the teacher’s instructions. Encouraging other campers who are trying a new task—“Good job!” or “Nice try!”—goes a long way toward friendship.

 

Most of all, it’s important that kids be interested and excited about their experience. “Get your kids amped up about it,” advises Watkins. “Talk to them about the fun things they’re going to be doing.” The best camps create a sense of community that grows from a shared enthusiasm, and friendships naturally emerge. Free from their school-year pals, kids develop special relationships with camp buddies that can be renewed year after year, says Watkins. Then, with luck, even the introverted child will be begging to go back next summer.

Just for Kids: Tips for Making Friends

Shawnee writer Claire M. Caterer is an alumna of Camp Chippewa inOttawa, KS.

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