I come from a line of Griswolds in my family ancestry, which is probably why, like our famous cousin in the National Lampoon movies, I’m such a sucker for family traditions. When my kids were little tots, I tried to organize and cram in as many rituals and outings during the holidays as humanly possible. This made for some glistening memories that have woven themselves into the fabric of our family, as traditions do, but it also fostered a season of stress, hustle and hassle. By the 12th day of Christmas, I felt exhausted. If your family struggles with holiday overload, here are some strategies I’ve learned to streamline traditions, free more snowy white space in your holiday calendar and pile on less stuff for more of what truly matters.
Your Family, Your Traditions
Some of the best advice I ever got before I was married came from an old neighbor. He said that when I began my own family, the holidays belonged to us. He told me not to feel obligated to please other people—grandparents, in-laws, extended family, friends—at the expense of creating our own family traditions at home (like our kids’ belting carols on the staircase to wake us up Christmas morning). I know parents who resentfully try to please everyone and split their time into so many fragments that they neglect creating their own family traditions. If sharing the holidays with others brings you joy, carry on. If you feel resentful, obligated and thin-stretched, it may be time for your family to stay home alone, or let loved ones come to you this year, instead of making the rounds like Santa on Christmas Eve. Your family, your traditions.
Less Secular, More Sacred
Over the years we’ve grown more deliberate about which traditions we celebrate. We’ve come to realize that less is often so much more. Some years it felt like we had more traditions than days in December, and Christmas was more chaotic than Christ-like. If you suffer from celebration overload, consider which traditions are truly worth keeping.
Which bring you closer as a family?
For us: gingerbread houses, books by the tree, family movies, baking cookies.
Which reflect the sacred meaning of the season?
For Us: Luminary walk, our Christmas Eve Bethlehem supper, Advent readings, caroling.
Which feel burdensome?
For us: Too many events, obligations and crowds.
Trading Stuff for Experiences
My husband and I noticed the hatching dolls and scattered Legos that dazzled our kids on Christmas morning lay neglected within weeks. We still wrap a few gifts beneath our tree but have made a deliberate decision to spend money on experiences rather than material things. Last Christmas, our kids’ main present was a PowerPoint presentation about a travel adventure in the coming months, along with an assignment to write reports on the places we would visit (they would be our tour guides). Studies prove experiences bring far more happiness than things, bonding families and building lasting memories. Fewer toys, more togetherness.
Wendy Connelly, M.Div., is a mother of two, podcaster and Christian life coach for moms. She hosts the weekly MoJo For Moms podcast on iTunes and posts her latest workshops and content at MoJoForMoms.com.