Many new dads adapt to their role with great enthusiasm, learning to diaper and prepare bottles adeptly. Others are more reluctant. They need a nudge to take a hand at baby care. Here are some suggestions for getting dad involved.
Include him from the start. If you are still awaiting the birth of your child, include your husband in prenatal activities such as listening to the heart beat at a check up, reading up on baby names or selecting layette and nursery items. Plan your delivery room strategies and make a list of people your husband should call when the baby is born.
Allow for differences. There is more than one acceptable way to hold, feed, rock and bathe a baby. Unless your husband is endangering the baby, avoid criticizing his techniques. Offer a positive suggestion such as, “Sometimes the baby likes to be held over my knee.” In time your husband will discover what works best for both him and the baby.
Provide time alone. If your husband is comfortable with the idea, leave him to care for the infant while you shop or catch a quick nap. Leaving him on his own with the baby demonstrates trust and bolsters his confidence. He will feel free to interact with the baby if he isn’t under constant surveillance.
Suggest activities for dad and baby. If your husband is reluctant to help with routine baby care such as changing diapers and giving baths, suggest other activities. Perhaps your husband could take the baby out in the stroller for a walk, play horsy by bouncing the baby on his knee or rock your child when he’s sleepy.
Include your husband in well baby check ups. Rather than repeat what the doctor has said, encourage your husband to go to the well baby check ups with you. He can watch first hand as the baby is weighed, measured and tested for reflexes and accomplishments.
Encourage all efforts. A reluctant husband will respond quicker to praise for what he is doing than nagging for what he isn’t doing. For some new fathers, taking care of an infant is overwhelming. Others may have been taught that taking care of a baby is “women’s work.” Praise your husband for the interaction he has with your child.
Activities for Dads and Infants:
- Give baby a bath.
- Take baby for a walk in the stroller.
- Swing baby in outside infant swing.
- Sit outside in shade with baby.
- Take infant for a drive in the car.
- Rock infant in the rocking chair.
- Give baby a bottle.
- Change infant into sleeper.
- Swaddle and put baby to bed.
- Read bedtime story to infant.
- Take pictures of baby (and mom).
- Take baby to have a portrait taken.
A father can play an important role in caring for an infant. In time he will become more comfortable with this role and will eagerly await the first smile, first step and first word right along with you.