Recently, my oldest (5 1/2) announced that she never wants to be a mother. Of course, I don't expect her to make such a decision at this stage in life or take it too seriously, but we did ask why she felt this way. Initially, she said, "I just want to live with you and Daddy forever." Okay, that's perfectly fine and a great philosophy for a 5 1/2 year old. I can happily accept that.
Then, a few days later, she offered a "bigger explanation" for not wanting to have children. She said she was scared. I am currently pregnant, and have been experiencing "constant" (or "near constant") morning sickness, coupled with sleepless (or near sleepless... 4 hour max when I'm lucky) nights as a result of pregnancy. My daughter, being very compassionate and nurturing has assigned herself the role of "my nurse" helping as much as she can with basic household tasks and bringing me water and 7-Up, etc. As we were talking, she revealed that she didn't want to be sick like I've been and therefore, didn't want to have kids. What's more... she doesn't know "how babies get out of there" but she's certain that it "must hurt." I've told her that the doctors help through the whole process and that thanks to medicine (I've had great success with epidurals, though I didn't explain THAT)... it wasn't bad (I've been fortunate... while the 9 months prior to birth are pretty rough for me, labor has always gone as "painlessly" as possible from what I hear from friends).
After our talk, she wasn't worried about me any longer and we agreed that she doesn't have to decide whether to be a mother for a LONG LONG LONG time after she's married (which Daddy won't allow till she's 45 anyway... lol!)... so we agreed that as far as whether she ever wants to have kids, the fair answer is "I'm just a kid. I don't know yet."
Conversations like this are always tough. I don't want to lie to her, but I also don't want to scare her. And, I certainly don't want to burden the mind of a 5 year old with adult concerns (that aren't really "concerns" at all).
So, if your child announced that they never wanted to have children because they were scared of morning sickness, pregnancy, and labor... how would you respond?
Written by Kristina Light