I know prayer works. There is nothing quite like the joy of answered prayer. Some would say the very best results are the quick answers, the ones you hardly finish asking before they are answered. But what about when the answer seems to never come? What my husband, Dan, and I had been asking and waiting for was a baby. But we had been married 18 years and I had started to think my chances of hitting menopause any given year were greater than ever getting pregnant.
Dan and I dated in high school and all through college--nearly eight years before we married. Even then, we were in no hurry to start a family. We had promised each other that when one of us felt “ready,” we would tell the other. In fact, the desire to start a family didn’t kick in until seven years into marriage. Even then, I was nervous about starting a family. We didn’t tell anyone our plan because we had already experienced plenty of pressure from family and friends to get a family started. As years passed without a pregnancy, we were even more deliberate about keeping things quiet.
Then, my mother passed away unexpectedly. I regretted not sharing with her that Dan and I had secretly wanted to have children. At the moment of her passing, something kicked in with both Dan and me that we really had not felt before: a real intensity to have a baby.
We tried for another five years. Sitting through a baby dedication, watching a kids’ production on stage at church, attending a baby shower—all became brutal reminders of our wait.
After much debate, we contacted a fertility specialist. After all the tests on both of us, the doctor could not find any reason why we could not get pregnant. We had secretly hoped for a problem to be diagnosed so at least we would have a ‘why’ to put our fingers on. Two options were suggested to us: intra-uterine insemination and in vitro. Both options seemed a bit like we were trying to force the hand of God. In the end, we opted for a series of intra-uterine procedures but did not go past two attempts. We decided it was all in God’s hands and we would let God be God.
At times defeated, at times positive, we hoped beyond hope for a reason for our experience. More emphasis on prayer is where we ended up. Dan used a Sharpie marker to write “baby Leiker” on a small flat stone that he kept in his pocket. Each time he felt it was a reminder to pray about our situation. We kept most of the struggle private but did confide in two mentoring women. They both agreed to regularly pray for our desire to have a baby.
One of my mentoring women was Momma Hawke, who had “adopted” me after my mother passed away. She had become ill and I regularly visited her at a rehabilitation center. I thought I had picked up a “bug” or something while spending time with her because of the way I was feeling. I told Dan about my condition and we both thought, “What if this was the time?” My thoughts and prayers that night were on Momma Hawke and the idea of being pregnant. Her daughter called me very early the next morning to tell me Momma Hawke had passed away.
My heart was full of sadness to lose someone so close. I left bed to take the pregnancy test. God only knew how many times I had done this. How many times we had watched and waited for the result, emotions ranging from excitement and hope to disappointment. It was during these times we laughed, hugged, cried, and prayed. I had little idea that anything would be different this time.
I had a box of three pregnancy tests, but they were expired. I took the tests anyway, all three of them, and all three showed up positive. I woke Dan up and through the tears asked him to go buy another box of pregnancy tests. Two additional tests later, I was still getting a positive read. I decided that some menopause hormone had skewed the results and called the doctor’s office for an appointment. I think it’s humorous that I could pray for something nearly 20 years and when that prayer was finally answered, I couldn’t believe it.
Our daughter, Janey Carlene Leiker, was born seven months later without incident. She’s a happy, healthy little girl and the joy of our lives. The other mentoring friend has now become “Grammy” to our daughter. God worked it all out in His perfect timing. Looking back, 18 years does not seem so long now. Baby Janey is well worth the wait.
Jenny and Dan Leiker live in Olathe with their daughter, Janey.