During both my pregnancies, there were many times when I had trouble getting out of bed in the morning and found it even tougher to keep my eyes open for the entire day. I dozed off in the middle of phone calls, yawned throughout dinner and couldn't bear the thought of staying up for the 10:00 news.
People told me this was nature's way of getting me ready for the exhaustion that goes hand-in-hand with having a new baby. But while I generally try not to question Mother Nature, I couldn't stop thinking that she had gotten things backwards. After all, I would have felt much more prepared for the sleepless nights of new motherhood if I had been able to rest up for them!
It turns out that my exhaustion was perfectly normal. "Many pregnant women feel extremely tired during pregnancy," says Susan Warhus, MD, an OB/GYN and author of Countdown to Baby: Answers to the 100 Most Asked Questions about Pregnancy & Childbirth. And although the bone-crushing fatigue can come as a shock to a woman who is accustomed to having plenty of energy, "it's normal to feel wiped out during the first trimester, then come out of the fog during the second, and have the exhaustion return during the third," she continues.
Excessive Exhaustion
Why do women feel so tired when they're expecting? Actually, there are several theories, according to Nancy Harris, MD, FACOG, an OB/GYN at Arizona Wellness Center for Women in Phoenix. One explanation is the hormonal shift that causes so many changes for expectant moms, especially during the first trimester. Then during the third trimester, physical factors start contributing to exhaustion. After all, your body has to work harder as it gets bigger.
Caffeine--or the lack of it--can also be a factor in pregnancy tiredness. For women who are accustomed to the kick-start of coffee--or tea or soda cutting down on caffeine or cutting it out completely can be tough. "My first trimester was horrid," says new mom Heather McCutcheon. "I gave up coffee right away and I couldn't handle it. I was almost falling asleep while driving my car into work in the morning!"
Also, many women feel tired simply because they're not sleeping well at night. Let's face it; it's easy for sleep patterns to get knocked out of whack during pregnancy. Many unborn babies seem to sleep peacefully during the day, but want to party--and kick and squirm--as soon as you hit the hay. Between trying to find a comfortable sleeping position, waking up to use the bathroom every two hours, and worrying about labor, delivery and what comes next, few moms find themselves slumbering peacefully for long enough that they feel rested when it's time to get up. "I'd get up in the morning, do some work, then hit the couch for what seemed like the rest of the day," recalls new mom Jennifer Merrill. "The only time I can remember really feeling awake was in the evenings."
Rise & Shine
So what's the best way to cope with your exhaustion? First, be sure to mention it to your doctor or midwife so she can rule out any other health problems that can also cause fatigue. But don't stress yourself out. Most likely, your caregiver will check you out and reassure you that feeling so tired is just a normal side-effect of pregnancy. Next, try to eat a healthy diet and take your prenatal vitamin every day. If your doctor or midwife has recommended cutting your intake of caffeine, don't cheat to try to make yourself less tired. "Also, exercise, if you can, for that boost of energy," advises Dr. Warhus.
Dr. Harris suggests getting help, especially if you have older children. Delegate the household chores. Ask a grandparent or friend to baby-sit so you can take a Saturday afternoon nap. Have your spouse deal with the kids' bad dreams and calls for water in the middle of the night.
Slow down as much as you can during the day. You probably won't be able to nap at the office, but try to rest during your lunch hour instead of running errands. Squeeze in a little shut-eye when you get home from work. "I'm learning to let go of the old me--that multi-tasking Super Mom who doesn't exist right now," says Gail Kent of Kansas City, KS, who is pregnant with her fourth child. "I'm doing one thing at a time and finding out that stuff still does get done, amazingly enough!"
Rock-A-Bye, Mommy
If you're tired because you're having trouble sleeping at night, do whatever you can to maximize your sleep. Skip your favorite TV show and head to bed earlier; try to sleep in on weekends. Experiment with different sleep positions, put pillows wherever they'll make you comfy or even get out of bed entirely. During my second pregnancy, I spent many nights propped up in our family room recliner because that was the only place I could drift off. If you're not sleeping because you're feeling stressed, figure out what's making you worry and address it. Buy, borrow or register for some baby gear if you're lying in bed making a mental checklist of things you'll need. Take a childbirth or parenting class if you're losing sleep over labor, delivery or new mom fears. "The more information you have, the less you'll worry and the more you'll be able to sleep," says Dr. Harris.
Finally, listen to your body. When you feel tired, your body is telling you that it needs you to slow down. Don't feel guilty about needing your rest and try to get as much sleep as you can. "Most days, I took naps and felt fine until about 9:00 at night," says Jennifer Key. "Then I zonked." Keep in mind that your pregnancy fatigue is only temporary, and before you know it, you'll be exhausted from dealing with round-the-clock feedings, monsters under the bed and curfew violations--all those things that Mother Nature is preparing you for now.