Every so often, maybe twice a year, I begin devouring parenting books. Of course, by devouring, I mostly mean that I request them from the library, pick them up, bring them home, allow them to gather dust, and then occasionally even pay overdue fines on them. I certainly read several of them, but you probably need to understand my library habits in order to understand why so many of the books gather dust.
I’m fortunate to live close to a public library. I can walk there in less than fifteen minutes. Obviously, I can drive there in even less time. That all means that I can make multiple trips to the library in any given week. For reasons I can’t explain, I seem to be unable to leave the library without at least five books. It doesn’t matter if I was there two days earlier checking out a dozen books, I will still likely leave with at least a handful of books. I’m like the proverbial kid in a candy store. It makes it even easier to check out several books when I request the books ahead of time and then stop by the pick them up. Any books a friend has recommended or I find referenced on a blog is mine for taking the time to make an online hold request. It’s easy for me to get carried away. Lately, I’ve gotten carried away on parenting books. That happens when my kids are in challenging stages.
So, now you know that parenting books are overflowing from my nightstand and spilling out from our library bag. A few of them are still unopened and one was even started and returned before I even finished it due to a lack of interest on my part. Yet, one I opened and finished in less than a week.
This long introduction is to tell you about my latest favorite book on parenting and family life. Ann Kroeker’s book, Not So Fast: Slow-Down Solutions for Frenzied Families, has been a breath of fresh air in our busy culture. We’re all busy, aren’t we? I don’t know about you, but many weeks I find myself busier than I care to be and my stress level shows it! Kroeker’s book offers practical and sometimes challenging solutions for slowing down life.
Life with children can get particularly busy. There are so many good activities available to children that it’s hard to say no. Before we know it, we can have our children signed up for two or three activities. This can be a scheduling nightmare especially if more than one child is involved. Something has to give and as I’ve personally experienced, the thing that gives is quite often family time.
I’ve told my children, “In just a minute,” more times than I care to admit. Eventually, those minutes turn into hours and the hours turn into days. At some point I realize I’ve let too much time pass without spending quality time with my children. In the midst of all my busyness, it’s hard not to wonder if there isn’t a better way to live. Kroeker’s book describes that slower and generally better way.
Every family has its limits of how many things can be on the calendar before the family feels stressed. This is different for each family in each season of life. Kroeker realizes this and writes her book with an open mind. This isn’t a parenting book that suggests there is only one way of doing something. Instead, this book asks you to take the time to reflect with your family to discover what a slow life looks like for you. If your life is rushing by at a breakneck speed, you’ll likely find the suggestions in this book quite helpful.
As for me, before I even finished reading the book, I tried to slow down a bit. I cut back on the amount of screen time my kids had and accepted that the house would be a bit messier. I purposefully left my days free of commitments and was able to help a friend out with childcare and then spend an afternoon visiting with another friend. It was time well spent. After even a couple of days at a slower pace, I’m feeling more determined to keep life slow.
Have you read this book? If not, I highly recommend it. I’m also curious to know what you do to keep life slower for you and your family. Do you limit extracurricular activities for your children as well as outside activities for yourself? Do you, like me, find this to be a constant, but worthwhile balancing act? Please share any slow tips you have in the comments. Who knows, it might be your tip that slows down my life enough that I can actually read most of those books I tote home from my “candy store.”
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