Meemaw and Pawpaw. Nana and Papa. Grandma and Grandpa.
We call them by thousands of different names, but we all can agree no one symbolizes the strength of family and love quite like a grandparent. Year over year, decade over decade, these men and women help solidify our family bonds, remind us to stay grounded and stuff our kids with candy they shouldn’t be eating. And life wouldn’t be the same without them! So what makes a grandparent truly grand? Let’s find out…
They keep it real.
Grandparents are beholden to no one. They aren’t your parents or your friends and they don’t have to live with your ridiculous attitude when you get home. As a teenager, I confessed to my grandmother that I was quitting a job and didn’t want to give my employer the full two weeks’ notice I’d initially promised. I framed a solid justification, telling my grandma how I really wanted to get going on my new job and it was more money, so it wasn’t a big deal. My grandmother looked me dead in the eyes and said, “So you want to be known as someone who doesn’t keep her word? What a terrible thing for someone to discover about you.” Needless to say, I fulfilled my two-week obligation. Grandparents are truth tellers, and no one escapes that.
They have time for everything.
As a general rule, by the time you’re old enough to really talk to your grandparents, they’re probably retired. This means you and your child can call them any time of day or night (and as weird as it seems, grandparents can hang until the late hours) and talk their ears off. Or, with grandparents getting more savvy with technology, you can stay connected via social media and Facetime!
Grandparents are also great cheerleaders when it comes to supporting your child’s passions. Make sure to send an invitation to every concert, graduation, birthday party and celebration. If they live nearby, also offer to shuttle them back and forth. Though they won’t be able to attend each event, you will be so glad for the ones they did. No one ever looks back and says, “I wish my grandparents hadn’t come to that choir concert.”
“Spoil” doesn’t compute.
Meema and Pappo aren’t spoilers—they’re just “strict resistant.” Part of becoming a grandparent means taking those hard and fast rules that Mom and Dad have set and bending them a little. Okay, sometimes breaking them right off. This can occasionally become a point of contention between parents and grands because it may feel invasive or disrespectful when rules aren’t followed. At the heart of it, though, spoiling comes from love. Grandparents have worked hard their entire lives to finally kick back and cause a little mischief. They’re ready to live it up and see the joy in their grandchildren’s eyes when “yes” is the answer to every request. And really, 20 years from now, will that extra late bedtime have caused any tangible problems? Doubtful.
They pass on generations of stories.
To know your future is to understand your past. No one has a key to days gone by like a grandparent. By their 60s and 70s, they have lived a lot of life and they remember like it was yesterday. Children both young and old should learn about their grandparents’ lives. Consider periodically sitting down with your kids and their grandparents to simply ask them questions. You’ll be amazed at the lessons they’ve learned, the narrow escapes they’ve executed and the mistakes they’ve made. Many children lose their grandparents early in life, so the more time you can spend with them now, the more memories you will make. As Shannon Elder says, “Carve your name on hearts, not tombstones. A legacy is etched into the minds of others and the stories they share about you.”
Five questions to have your children ask Meema and Pawpaw:
- Tell us about the first date you ever went on. Who did you take and where did you go?
- What was your worst subject in school? What was your best?
- Where were you when (fill in the blank) happened? Tip: If your child is learning about a certain event in school, ask about that specifically. It will give kids a real world perspective from someone they know and respect.
- What is the biggest trouble you can remember that Mom/Dad got into? How did they handle the consequences?
- If you could have lunch with one person, alive or dead, who would it be and why?
Kim Antisdel is a freelance writer and interior design sales rep for KC. She lives in Liberty with her husband, stepdaughters and toddler son.