“Don’t talk with food in your mouth!” Like a broken record, my husband and I repeat this mantra to our children at every meal. Our hard and fast rule has caught on and the girls, ages 6 and 8, rarely talk until they have finished chewing. We also teach our children other table manners in hopes that they will be able to apply them naturally as they get older.
We have learned that teaching manners requires practice, patience and lots of reinforcement. But, according to the parents I spoke with, basic table manners never go out of style. So if you’ve got a smacker or a slacker, check out these five tips to get your kid’s manners back on track.
Use a Napkin
Does your child wipe his mouth with the back of his hand (or his sleeve)? Provide a napkin with each meal. Teach your child to place his napkin in his lap when he is seated and help him remember to use it as needed.
Derick, dad of two, says, “Mattie forgets that her arm is not a napkin, but we remind her at each meal that it is not.”
Use Your Silverware
Janis Kliethermes, mother of two and owner of Etiquette Kansas City, teaches her children and her students to use silverware, not hands, when eating. “Hold your fork like you hold your pencil, not [like you hold] a shovel.”
Chew with Your Mouth Closed
Greg, dad of one, says, “Smacking, or the ability to see the food during mastication, is a definite pet peeve.”
Encourage your child to take smaller bites if smacking or chewing with an open mouth is a problem.
Pace Yourself
Help your child learn to eat at the same pace as others at the table. Eating too slowly leaves the family (or guests) waiting. But eating too quickly isn’t polite or healthy either.
Pam, mom of two, reminds her children to slow down by saying, “The food isn’t going anywhere!”
Be Courteous
Whether saying, “Please pass the peas” or “May I please be excused?”, common courtesy at the table goes a long way. Help your child learn by practicing, even if everything is at arm’s reach.
Amy, mom of two, much prefers “Please and thank you” to “Ewwww and yuck.” “We’re working on not saying ‘eeewwww’ and ‘yuck’ before the food even gets to the table. A bite or two and a semi-pleasant ‘no thank you’ will suffice.”
Family meals are a great way to relax and reconnect. Everyone will have a more pleasant experience if basic table manners are practiced.
Julie Steed is a military spouse and freelance writer. She has lived in Japan, Florida, New Mexico and, most recently, Leavenworth.