I recently had someone ask me how the transition back into the workforce had gone (I returned to full time work outside of the home last fall after spending 5 years as a stay at home mom). Thankfully, the transition went really well for me and for my family because I love my new job and the kids love their schools. It has truly been a blessing for all of us and I feel so lucky to have found the perfect job. But as I was talking about the transition I was able to put my finger on the one thing that has been a struggle for me. And that is that I have become a "Jill of All Trades, Master of None." (Yes, it's supposed to be "Jack" of all trades, but I'm feeling feminist today). I feel like I am not GREAT at anything I do right now because I am pulled in all different directions.
When my first child was in preschool, I was the go-getter room mom. I volunteered for every special party, field trip, and spent a ton of time in the classroom with him. When it was my turn to bring snacks I went all out with elaborate themes and fun (yet healthy) snacks. Now, with two kids in different schools and a full time job, I feel like the biggest slacker-mom on the planet. I rarely get to spend time in either of their classes, I miss all of the field trips and holiday parties, and yes...I sent pre-packaged pretzels on my snack day.
And even though I'm confident that I'm doing well at my job, I feel guilty every time I have to miss work for snow days or to attend a kids' school program. I always have to worry about what happens if I have a sick kid on a day when I'm needed at work. (Let's not even get into the fact that I feel like I'm always scrambling for childcare on the multiple days each month where they don't have school due to conferences, in-service, holidays, etc).
And at home...well...let's just say it's my home that has suffered the most. I rarely cook, I seldom clean anything other than what desperately needs it, and there is always a pile of laundry. But it's hard for me to give my my precious evening free time to clean the house because by time the kids are in bed I'm just too exhausted to do anything but sit.
So, it has been hard for me to accept that I just can't do anything quite as well as I would like to. I've had to lower my expectations for myself in all areas. But, the good news is, we're getting by! My husband (who is amazing) has taken on a lot of the house-keeping duties and has also spent quite a bit of time in the kids' classes when he has been able to. I have great friends that have stepped in when I needed childcare in a pinch. We hired a cleaning lady. And I finally feel comfortable using my lunch break at work to run errands or pop into my kids' class for a few minutes. I'm making it work. I may not be the BEST at anything right now, but I'm at least giving what I can, and that has to be enough.
What about the other working moms out there...how do you make it work?