When I became a parent, Pinterest was at its advent, and a whole new world of inspiration presented itself. Themed parties weren’t just showcased, they were broken down and explained to the masses, allowing any mom the party planning prowess of a professional, depending on how far down the rabbit hole she wished to go. If I didn’t have the wherewithal to make my own custom banners and entry decor, I could buy from one of dozens of moms side-hustling their Cricut skills on Etsy. I’ll admit I took the bait and threw some incredible themed parties when my boys were little: pirates, cowboys, puppies, classic Mickey, Lego, Star Wars, video games. You name it, we did it! I got a kick out of making custom birthday shirts and offering fun foods that kept in step with the party theme. Naturally, I figured if simple birthdays were so enjoyable in my own childhood, these extra special affairs would be even more special for my own kids.
But over time I realized that wasn’t the case. Instead, what it did more than anything was set an expectation that birthdays were expensive, labor-intensive endeavors. In seasons when I didn’t have much bandwidth, it created more stress than necessary. And despite all the hoopla, my kids didn’t even want the structured play that came with the themed crafts and activities I provided. They would have been happy just free-playing with their buddies. Lesson learned.
I’ve loosened up on my themed parties, but I don’t think it’s as simple as just making a big deal about birthdays or not. Intentionality can show itself in many different ways.
Here are some beloved ways to make your birthday boys and girls feel extra special on their special days.
- Decorate when they go to sleep so when they wake up, their eyes meet with celebration. No fancy balloon arches are necessary, but if you want to go that route, knock yourself out! Dollar Tree streamers and balloons do just fine. I’ve grown to love having a well-made but generic birthday-themed banner that can be used through the years. It simply hangs under our fireplace mantle. Write a birthday greeting with a dry-erase marker on your child’s bathroom mirror. If your child is driving, decorate his car with well wishes and a few balloons. A happy birthday garden flag makes for a nice touch to come home to after a day at school as well.
- Offer breakfast in bed. Invest in a wooden bed tray with legs and bring the birthday girl her favorite spread. I know families that have a tradition of making cinnamon rolls for birthday breakfasts, a fun alternative especially if your kid isn’t a fan of cake. Candles can be lit atop the sticky buns and brought in with the family leading a chorus of “Happy Birthday.” As children age, they may prefer the gift of sleeping in with less fanfare, while others may prefer ordering takeout. Parents who are less inclined to baking may meet this development with great rejoicing!
- Invest in a birthday plate. Waechtersbach makes an iconic cherry red “You Are Special” plate, while Mud Pie makes an assortment of special birthday plates—some even include a slot to put the candle directly into the plate. Having a go-to piece for birthday dinners can make things special whether you decorate otherwise or not.
- Write birthday letters. I was gifted a letter kit for my firstborn. The idea was to write him a letter every year for his first 21 years and then present him the messages as an adult. I’ve since continued this tradition for all my boys. Included in my notes are memorable moments from that year, what new skills and character qualities they’ve developed, as well as hopes and prayers for them as they go into their next year.
- Film a birthday interview. Play journalist and ask the same 20 questions every year. When your kids graduate high school or college, collect all the footage and make it into a movie.
Lauren Greenlee loves making her four boys feel special on their birthdays. She writes from her Olathe home.