“I wish I never even had a brother!” James stormed into his room and slammed the door.
I knew the feeling. My older brother had teased and tormented me from my earliest memories. Almost 18 months my elder, Bob had an unbeatable advantage in size, strength and weight. Two grades ahead of me in school, he was always smarter than I was—and always pointing it out with glee.
But, he had another side too. He taught me how to swim. On vacations and time away from peers, he’d point out things that no one else would ever notice. He helped and mentored me, as well, like the time I fell up to my biceps into a creek. He pulled me out and walked me home. I didn’t even get into trouble.
It might be just boys. Something about the little manlings, alternately tough and vulnerable, keeps them from expressing their true feelings, and it may be hard-wired into us. Talking about emotions is, well, just plain mushy.
So, we don’t. Instead, we tease, insult and badger one another. This doesn’t stop at childhood, either. Men do the same thing, but more gently and with a good-natured smile. The meaning is identical. I like you and I’m glad you’re in my life. As we matured, we learned to love and open our hearts. We discarded the viciousness of our childhood teases and taunts. Now, we use them to reinforce bonds and show affection.
Of course, it isn’t a smooth path to maturity with a brother in the house. But, it does progress, after a fashion. When the house seemed too quiet, I turned to Sandi. “Where’s Ian?”
“You won’t believe it.”
I cracked open the door to James’ room. Both he and Ian watched a movie. Together and at peace.
William R. Bartlett lives in Belton with his family.