It’s one of those nights when absolutely nothing works—not rocking, not swaying, not a pacifier, not nursing, not a bottle, not a car ride. Everything you’ve attempted to soothe your screaming baby has failed.
You’re exhausted. You’re out of stamina. You want to cry, but, honestly, crying takes too much energy and you’d rather save that last 10 percent of your battery to try swaddling your baby again.
They don’t have a fever. You’ve called the nurse hotline just to cover all the bases. She assured you there are no severe illness red flags warranting a midnight visit to the emergency room. You breathe a sigh of relief about that, at least.
Colic, according to Mayo Clinic, is frequent, prolonged and intense crying in a healthy infant. These episodes typically happen in the evening around bedtime. Some call it the “witching hour.”
Colic can be confused with reflux, which actually occurs when food moves back up from a baby’s stomach. Reflux usually happens multiple times a day or even after every feeding, typically clearing up by 18 months of age.
Though some pediatricians prescribe medication for reflux, colic can be trickier to remedy. And reflux can last all day, while colicky babies tend to struggle between 6:00 and midnight. Signs and symptoms of colic may include inconsolable crying, screaming, extending then pulling legs to their tummy, gas, distended stomach, arched back and clenched fists.
Parents who have experienced one or both diagnoses with their newborns can vouch that it’s no easy task to try to calm a baby in distress. Inconsolable babies can take a toll on new—or seasoned—parents, leaving them depleted.
Area mom Jennifer Cordonnier says, to her, colic was a symptom and not an illness. Her baby experienced frequent belly pain because she was allergic to milk. Once dairy was cut from her diet, her baby was much happier.
“One time my baby cried for five hours straight. It was awful,” she shares. “I tried rocking, singing, reading, silence, water (bath), going outside, going on a walk, bouncing.” Eventually her daughter just got tired enough that she gave in to sleeping. Thousands of parents right now probably relate to this exact scenario.
Cordonnier shares a wonderful piece of advice for parents who are feeling dysregulated in the moments of intense crying.
“If Baby is inconsolable and you start feeling angry, put Baby down and walk away,” she suggests. “They are mad regardless. Go regulate and come back. A good five-minute break does wonders.”
Some parents may opt for noise cancelling headphones in between bouts of intense crying. Some nights you’ve just tried everything, and your baby is overtired, and Mom and Dad need a break. It’s not selfish to regulate your own emotions first before tending to your infant. Your baby benefits most from a well-rested, well-regulated parent.
Most importantly, don’t be afraid to seek support from your family, friends, pediatrician, therapist, sister, neighbor or the mom friend you just met at the park. During this vulnerable, sleepless time in your life, it’s imperative that you have a steady support system in order to take the best care of your baby, and yourself, that you can. Especially if you are experiencing postpartum depression or anxiety, please seek the assistance that you need. You are not alone.
Tips and tricks
- Wear your baby in a ring sling or soft-structured carrier. Ring slings help take pressure off of their tummies while keeping them propped up and in perfect snuggle position.
- Use a sound machine or play soothing background music.
- Take them for a ride in the car. Some babies love their car seats. Others don’t, but it’s worth a shot.
- Invest in a baby swing.
- Keep extra pacifiers on hand.
- Shift carrying positions.
- Burp your baby.
- Take a breather.
- If nursing, try eliminating milk products from your diet.
- Try not to overfeed your baby.
- Softly sing a lullaby while rocking Baby in a rocking chair.
- Try a baby massage.
- Try giving Baby a warm bath with calming lavender soap and swaddle them after.
- Dim the lights and limit visual stimulation.
- Go for a walk in the stroller.
- Make formula changes or adjust your diet (if nursing).
- It’s tough, but try to remember this is temporary. This exhausting stage won’t last forever. You can do it!
Emily Morrison is a freelance writer, former copy editor, full-time mommy and Disney fanatic who lives in Independence with her husband, son, daughter and dog.
As always, please consult your health care provider with any questions or concerns.