Dads are awesome and important! They contribute greatly to a child’s life and development. Their presence and teachings affect their children throughout their entire lives. Not just childhood or adolescence. From infancy to adulthood, fathers and male caregivers have the chance to positively and greatly impact their children.
A Father’s Influence Through Development
Fathers influence both social and emotional development. Many adult children later admit to suffering the lasting effects of absent fathers in early childhood. These include abandonment issues, unhealthy relationships, a lack of self-confidence or emotional security. Because these have the possibility to affect a child’s development so much, a father’s positive influence on a child is imperative. And entirely possible!
Early childhood years
Dads play a key role in their children’s lives. This starts as early as pregnancy and infancy. Before a child is born, a father can show involvement in pregnancy through the child’s mother. Despite not carrying the child, a father still profoundly influences the birth and earliest days.
Although the child grows inside of the mother, the father can nurture its development in specific ways. These include strengthening his relationship with the child’s mother and aiding in a baby’s early care, for example, by feeding, diapering and the engaging in initial communication.
Much of the role of a father in the early childhood years is as playmate, advocate and teacher. Dads teach children skills like listening and following directions, and they enable laughter and roughness. Yes, even roughness is a necessary skill to growing and learning!
As children grow, they follow the example of those around them.
School-aged years
In the school-aged years, the role of the father is likely to be more of the protector and disciplinarian. Fathers stand up for their children when they face inevitable adversity that comes with being in social situations. Many fathers take on the role of rule enforcers in the household. This starts at an early age, but it will usually carry into the teen years before the child has left the home.
Fathers also help children learn regulation. Children need to learn regulation and commonly receive this skill through their father. Often dads will “rough and tumble” play with their children—throwing them, wrestling and engaging them in fast or loud play. This interaction is important in helping children learn self and body regulation. This type of play gives children an outlet for emotions. It helps them to regulate for other circumstances where it may not be as socially acceptable to play this way.
By receiving this loving type of interaction at home, children learn to regulate their bodies and emotions in a safe and secure way.
Teen years
Parents can feel distant from their children in their teenage years, which is why the early years are so important. Parents must use the early years to establish a foundation. When a father establishes a close relationship with his child in these years, he will be more likely to maintain it as they both age. A child’s teen years confront a family with complex and rapid development—kids and parents feel the impacts. It is during these years that a child rapidly gains independence.
Much of the early years’ learning and lessons come to fruition in the teen years. When a father helps instill confidence and self-control early on, the child is more likely to be successful—both socially and in other areas—as a teenager and an adult.
Adulthood
A father can still positively influence his child into adulthood. Dads provide an example of fatherhood, a successful relationship and how to face inevitable struggles. Children look to their parents’ relationship as the first example of a relationship. It’s the parents’ job to provide an example of a healthy and safe one. Fathers demonstrate the ability to care for a partner. Adult relationships between a child and father are often complex as both of them navigate new and changing dynamics.
Tips for Dads to Positively Influence Their Child’s Development
Even if a dad doesn’t live in the same home as his child, he is still an important aspect of his child’s development. Here are some tips for dads to positively influence their children.
- Make one-on-one time for each child. Make a special activity you only do with that child. Really customize that time to your child’s interests. Even if it’s just going to get ice cream or run a special errand, consider how to make it special in some way. Maybe your child enjoys spending time outside or learning about animals. Spend some time with just that youngster in a favorite setting.
- Seek out your child’s love language. Finding a person’s love language can make them feel seen and loved.
- As your children get older, talk with them. Ask them how you meet their needs. Ask them about things they’d like to do with you. Open communication is important in any relationship. Don’t discredit the power of communication when meeting your child’s needs!
- Be present and intentional. When playing with or spending time with your children, focus your time and energy on them. Quality over quantity. As adults, we often want to multitask or find ourselves easily distracted. Put your phone away and actively engage with the kids. It’s better to spend a shorter amount of time giving your undivided attention to them than a longer amount of time distracted.
Overall, fathers have a vast influence on a child’s development. They have the ability to have a positive one!
Fathers can foster a positive relationship with their children. They can do this by showing examples of regulation and emotional well-being, demonstrating healthy relationships of their own and looking after their child’s emotional well-being. Children want to have a relationship with their fathers. And it is important for their growth and development that they do—not just in early childhood, but throughout their teen and adult development, too.
Dads rock! They are such an important part of a child’s life. Dads bring many special moments and lessons over the course of a child’s development. Their presence in a child’s life is both meaningful and necessary. Remember to celebrate and appreciate the dads in your life today!
Kailyn Rhinehart writes from Warrensburg, Missouri. She lives with her husband and two small children. She knows, loves and appreciates that her husband is not just the “fun dad,” but a great one.