The first day of school can be a nerve-racking event, looming heavier as the big day approaches—not just for kids, but for us parent folk, too. Here are a few tips to distract yourself and help squash your first day jitters.
Before the Big Day:
Meet the Class
OK, so maybe you don’t know exactly who will be in your child’s class. But if you get out there and network, you’re bound to meet some kids before school begins. Making friends will be easier for your child if she gets used to socializing. Better yet, you’ll make mommy friends to sulk with on the big day. Try:
- Library reading programs and story times
- Summer camps/childcare
- www.MeetUp.com (not dating, moms’ social network)
- Mommy and Me
- Mothers of Preschoolers (MOPS)
- Playgrounds
- Local pools
- Community centers
Meet the Teacher
Meeting the teacher in advance will help alleviate some worries. “The teacher is a professional,” says Anthea Brosnan of Parents as Teachers. “They will take good care of your child. If you are really concerned on the first day, you can call usually the school.”
Visit the School
Familiarizing your child with the location beforehand might reduce the scariness of the big day for him. Walk around the grounds. Go to the playground. You will help introduce the school to your child’s comfort zone and have the chance to gauge his/her reactions. Take photos while there. Create a poster or flip book of the pictures so your child can remember your visit.
A visit also will help you face the fact that your “baby” is a big kid now. You’ll feel better knowing that you are not completely abandoning your child to some wild and weird place.
On The BIG Day:
Just Go
As an ex-Pre-K teacher, I know that a parent’s hanging around makes things worse. Best for all if you make your goodbye sweet and snappy—give’em a kiss and slide out. If you are at home screaming, “BUT THAT”S MY BABY!” – I understand. You’re switching from 24/7 mom mode and you want to ensure that your precious child is okay. I get it. So does the teacher – but she still wants you gone.
Swap something with your child to reassure each other you will be together soon. Hook your key chain or something small on her backpack and promise to take care of her favorite toy until after school.
If your child is throwing a fit, it’s okay They’ll get over it. The teacher is prepared. Your child is prepared (even if they’ve briefly forgotten) and you are prepared. Hanging around dancing back and forth with scary wide eyes will freak your child out, when he might have been just fine.
“You will miss them more than they miss you…hurts, but it’s true,” says Robin Adams of Lansing, KS. Don’t prolong your agony. Really... just go.
What About Me….
Now comes the hard part. You’ve prepped, packed and passed your baby off to the school system and now you’re left standing on the curb feeling…. excited, apprehensive, sad – maybe all of the above. Lenexa mom (and editor of KC Parent Magazine) Margaret Sarver says, “I had such a hard time last year on Ally’s first day of Kindergarten. I lined up a group of friends to meet for coffee to keep my mind off of the fact that my baby had just gone off to school!”
What a great idea! Corral your buddies, stay-at-home moms or work friends, into hanging out with you.
- Bring cakes to work and throw a party for yourselves.
- Throw a mommy play date for those moms you met at the library during the summer.
- Take the younger kids digging for dinosaurs at Legends.
- Remember that red dress you saw while shopping for book bags? Hit the mall with your mates for some retail therapy.
No friends going through this? Perfect! How often have you complained about your lack of “ME” time in the last five years? Try:
- A spa day. You’ve slathered your hands with sunscreen all summer, don’t they deserve a treat?
- You’ve been meaning to sign up at the gym, right?
- Go see that movie you were busting to see all summer, but the kids were too small. You won’t have to share the popcorn.
- Call that old friend you just found on Facebook and reminisce.
- Pour an herbal tea, slip into a deep bath and relax with a good book (or blast that music your kids hate).Chamomile, peppermint or rosehip is great.
- Meet your husband for a special lunch.
Ex-Kindergarten teacher and mother of two, Shannon Thiele, always recommends parents make plans to occupy themselves on that first day of school. “Stay-at-home mums have a tough time,” she says. “When you’re used to kids at home, a quiet, empty house is a shock. You have to have a plan, either with your younger kids, friends or by yourself.”
Victoria Pressley is a full-time writer and stay-at-home mom living in Leavenworth. She is the editor of the upcoming anthology, How to Avoid Murdering Your Mother-in-Law.