I’m sure he meant well. Perhaps he even truly thought he was encouraging me, but that couldn’t have been further from the truth.
I was kneeling on the ground near my preschooler while she had a tantrum. She was having the fit on the floor of a local restaurant. My two other children were playing and my youngest was filling the restaurant with her screams. I’ve had better moments.
As I struggled to pick her up and call for my other children, I noticed an older man looking at me with an amused expression on his face. A minute or two later, he came over to me and said, over the screams of my daughter, “These are the easy years.” All I could think was, “He did not just say that to me!”
He may be right. However, at the moment, I wasn’t at all comforted by thinking parenting would only get harder.
It wasn’t the first time someone has said something similar to me. Fortunately, most have the common sense to say it when my children are behaving well. It’s then that I don’t mind being reminded that these years are fleeting.
Of course, I couldn’t help but wonder if I’ve said something similar to a new mom. Have I ever told her sleepless nights are nothing compared to the challenges of a toddler? Have I ever told a mother of one how easy it used to be to have only one child? I hope not, but I’m guessing it might have slipped out a time or two. Like that man, I probably meant well. However, I now give you permission to slap me if I ever belittle the challenges of your parenting experience. That is, unless of course, you personally have had eight solid hours of sleep each night for the past five years. In that case, all bets are off!
Has anyone said anything “helpful” to you recently?