I was in the grocery store when I got our first placement call. The agency told me the child’s age, name and gender, and some basic information. She needed a place to go that night. Would I be able to help? I said yes, and two hours later she arrived at our home with her basic belongings. So began our journey into the Kansas foster care system.
We decided to foster after hearing about the great need for foster homes. More than 13,000 children are in foster care in Missouri, and in excess of 7,440 children are in the Kansas system. We’d read about some of the children having to spend nights in agency offices or group homes because of a lack of available foster homes, so we decided to take the leap and help where we could.
We had no idea what to expect and, not having children, we lacked experience. Kansas has a privatized foster care system, and Missouri’s system is administered through the state. However, both states have similar requirements for foster parents. In Kansas, you can choose between several different agency options, depending on the area in which you live. KVC, St. Francis, TFI and DCCCA are a few of the options. There are some differences among the agencies, so it’s best to research them before starting the process of getting your license. However, if you decide down the road that you want to transfer to another agency, the process is fairly simple.
Tip: If you're interested in providing foster care, contact KVC Kansas for Information.
After you choose an agency (Kansas) or sign up for the STARS class (in Missouri), both states have fairly similar requirements. For example, both require you to be at least 21 years old, complete a background check and be fingerprinted, and meet basic minimum income requirements.
Both states also require you to take a foster care class, which varies in length and amount of time. After graduating from the class, you’ll face home visits and paperwork—be prepared for lots of paperwork! All in all, it took us about six months from when we started the process to when we received our license and could “open” our foster home to children.
You are able to set parameters on the type of care you are able to provide. You can provide long-term foster care (lasting typically at least a year, sometimes more); respite care, which is caring for other foster parents’ placements on a short-term basis when they need help; police protective custody care; care for medically fragile children; or one-nights, where you take a child just for the night when you’re not available for a long-term placement.
You can also set boundaries about what type of children you are willing and able to care for. Some of those categories have to do with the child’s age, sex, types of behaviors, and medical or physical impairments.
During the end of the licensing process, you’ll begin to prepare your home for the child(ren). We made our spare bedroom into the kids room, stocked up on children’s clothes in every size, and got a variety of toys and games. Our support system was a tremendous help and gave us duffle bags, backpacks and boxes of toiletries, so we could make sure that every child who came through our home left with the basic items they should have.
Once you’re licensed, you typically receive calls for placement fairly quickly, thanks to the high need. We learned quickly that you can ask as many questions as you can think of, but nothing can really prepare you for the things you will hear and see. You just have to be committed to doing the best possible job you can for the child.
Over our first year of fostering, we had more than 40 children come through our home. Many of them stayed short term for a few nights, and some of them stayed longer. Once we became more comfortable with the process and started feeling more confident in our abilities, we decided to branch out on our age range and take sibling groups.
We have had children ranging in age from 3 to 16 years old, male and female, with various levels of behaviors. Regardless of the children or how long they will be in your home, the important thing is to offer them stability and treat them like part of your family. That can mean anything from doing laundry for a one-night stay so they have fresh clothes when they leave, to teaching your long-term teenager how to write a resume and apply for jobs, to taking an 8-year-old to a movie for the first time.
Having a long-term placement allows the children to be exposed to a stable family life where they can have structure. Long-term placements are particularly important for older children and teens because bouncing from home to home can have extremely negative impacts on their education—and whether they will be able to graduate from high school on time or at all.
However, long-term placements may not be for everyone, and if that’s your case, you’ll still find numerous ways to help children in foster care. If you’re interested in getting license but don’t want to commit to a long-term placement, you can offer respite for other foster families or provide one-nights when needed. If you’re not ready to get licensed, you can support foster families by providing child care when needed, helping out with transportation to appointments or just giving moral support. The foster care journey can be draining and daunting, so it’s crucial to ask for help from your support systems when you need it.
The kids in care come from every possible walk in life, some having endured unimaginable traumas, all of them dealing with being separated from their families and loved ones. It can be a very scary and uncertain time for them, and being a foster parent allows you the opportunity to step in to support, nurture, protect and advocate for these children while they’re with you.
The case outcomes for children in care can be as numerous as their individual stories. Reunification with their parent(s) or families is always the first goal; but other outcomes are also possible—placement with a non-parent relative or kin, adoption, transition out of the system into independent living and others. In foster care, you can’t go in with any preconceived notion about the children or what will happen with their case. The process can be very long and take many twists and turns, and being open to the process is crucial in managing expectations.
Regardless of what direction you take in your foster care journey, you will encounter challenges but you’ll find fostering to be one of the most profound and transformative experiences you will have. Making a difference in a child’s life, even if just for one night, makes the whole process worthwhile.
Andrea Plunkett Ishmael is a licensed foster parent in Kansas City. She enjoys volunteering,traveling and learning new things.
Tip: If you're interested in providing foster care, contact KVC Kansas for Information.