Studies show that taking part in a wide variety of experiences can increase positive emotions and minimize negative ones. But that may be difficult for children who resist trying new things. Whether you have a toddler who rejects every food except pasta, a grade-schooler who’s scared to join an after-school club or a teen who’s learning to navigate a new job, here are a few ways to help kids embrace fresh experiences.
Toddler Years
Almost 50 percent of parents identify their preschoolers as picky eaters, which means time at the dinner table can be a power struggle. We’ve all begged and pleaded with our toddlers to try just one bite of their veggies only to end with a tantrum at the table. The term neophobia refers to an overwhelming fear of new or unfamiliar foods. Fear of new foods is common, but it might be easier to overcome than you think.
Research shows it can take 10-15 tries before a child likes a new food, so don’t give up! If tots don’t like the food the first time, don’t force them to eat it—but don’t let that stop you from introducing the food to them again and again. Try cooking the same food different ways and spicing it up differently each time. Hopefully, you will find how your child likes that food prepared, and the struggle will be over.
To help toddlers embrace trying new foods like veggies, you can also let them choose the new foods they’d like to try while you are shopping at the grocery store. They will be more likely to try it if they make the choice on their own. I know I tend to always buy vegetables I prefer, but I realized my daughter likes different ones than I do. All it took was a trip to the store where she picked out veggies she had tried at school or had seen her friends enjoying at lunchtime.
It’s also a good idea to pair a new food like broccoli with an old favorite like macaroni and cheese. Seeing a favorite food on their plate will seem much less daunting to kids than the facing the task of trying several unfamiliar foods at once. If your toddlers still balk at the idea of trying new foods, don’t be afraid to sneak in some nutrition in the form of spinach in their fruit smoothies or pureed vegetables in their macaroni and cheese. I still sneak pureed veggies into my 6-year-old’s macaroni and cheese, and she has yet to notice or catch me!
“People who engage in a variety of experiences are more likely to retain positive emotions and minimize negative ones than people who have fewer experiences.” – Rich Walker, psychologist
Elementary Years
Elementary age is a great time for kids to explore all the extracurricular activities available to them. After-school activities can give them a sense of belonging, help them discover their passions and help with social skills. Whether they opt for coding club, Scouts, soccer or chess club, your children will reap the benefits. The only problem is kids in grade school tend to be reluctant to try new extracurricular activities.
Setting your expectations for them can help with their hesitance. Let your kids know you expect them to participate in at least one activity each school year, no exceptions. It’s important to make sure you ultimately leave the choice of what the activity is up to them. If they aren’t sure, help them explore ideas that would coincide with their interests. Be clear that they must complete the school year or season of the activity they choose. When the school year or season is over, they can decide whether they want to participate in the same activity again or switch to something else.
Fear of failure tends to be a major factor in kids hesitating to try new things. They prefer to only do things they know they will excel in, so trying anything new seems like a major risk. This is one reason why it’s important to praise your children for their hard work and effort, rather than just their successes. Comments like “I love watching you play soccer!” instead of “You almost got a goal!” let them know you love them even if they aren’t the best at everything. They will slowly gain confidence as they progress in the new activity, which will encourage them to get involved in other activities that might be out of their comfort zone. If your kids are still reluctant to try something new, try reminding them of all the other things they have tried and knew nothing about but ended up ultimately loving.
It’s also helpful to let them invite a friend to the activity with them. They might feel more comfortable with a familiar face who is taking a risk and trying something new right along with them.
High School
High school students face many changes at once, including moving to a larger school, driving and starting their first job. They are slowly gaining independence through their teen years, and getting their first job is just one of the ways they begin growing into young adults. Teens can often see getting a job as intimidating and as a first step into adulthood. It can sometimes be a bit overwhelming for them to move out of their day-to-day routine and take on something new. To help them take the leap, be positive and encourage them to pursue a job they would enjoy. To do this, sit down with them and discuss their interests. Do they love film? Try a job at the movie theater. Do they love swimming? Try lifeguarding. Do they want to be a writer? Have them intern at a local newspaper. They will gain experience and confidence in their abilities, and hopefully the jobs will inspire them to continue working toward their long-term goals. Hopefully, as they grow into adulthood, they will embrace the idea of taking on a new job, because they know they’ve succeeded before.
You can also talk to teens about what they can get out of starting a job. They can build independence by earning and saving their own money. They might even be able to save enough to buy a car. They will build friendships by meeting coworkers at their job and relationships with people in the community. They will also gain knowledge about how businesses are run and possibly come out of their job with a new passion to pursue.
Regan Lyons is a freelance writer who lives in St. Joseph, MO, with her husband, Cale, and daughters, Atley, 6, and Ensley, 9 months old.