When bad days hit, they hit, and not just for parents. Kids have bad days, too, and they aren’t shy about making it known when they return home from a busy day at school or daycare. Seeing them trudge into the house with a scowl immediately puts us in fix-it mode. We want to instantly make them feel better. However, this is when we need to stop and rethink the situation. When we try to fix everything for our children, they don’t learn how to work through their problems. When we try to “make it all better,” it deprives them of the opportunity to feel grumpy and let it out when they return home. Instead, we need to look at why their mood comes out when they return home. They’re exhausted, and home is where they’re comfortable letting off steam after a long day of following rules at school. So here are some tips on healthy ways to help your kiddos reset their moods while still allowing them to feel their emotions along the way.
- Allow your child to vent. Let her know it’s okay to be upset, and it’s good to let it out. Practice “reflective listening.” Pay close attention to what she is saying, and let her know that she is being heard and understood.
- Breathe together. One of the single best ways to alleviate negativity is with deep belly breaths. Stand across from your child and breathe with him. Take a deep inhale as you raise your arms and a slow exhale as you lower them back down. Repeat three to five times.
- Take a nature walk. Step outside and get some fresh air together. Bring a bag with you so your child can collect nature finds along the way. When you get home, go through the bag of goodies she found and reminisce about your walk.
- Enjoy story time. Listen to an audiobook together. Let your child select the story.
- Build together. Take out the Legos and build together. It’s very therapeutic and relaxing.
- Color them happy. Take out some coloring books and crayons or colored pencils. Coloring is a relaxing, meditative activity that pairs well with music and audiobooks.
- Take a bath. Spending some time in the warm water is sure to relax a grumpy child. Add some bubbles and bath toys, and your little one’s frown is sure to turn upside down.
- Play games together. Whether it’s a video game or board game, take out your child’s favorite and play! Games always bring out the smiles.
- Get crafty. Pull out the art supplies and get crafty! You can find all kinds of fun things to craft on sites like Pinterest or PBS.org.
- Bake something yummy. Whether you choose brownies, cookies or banana bread, make it a special time together. Let your child do most of the work (and decorating). Take lots of pictures! This is something that is sure to change a bad mood to good (especially when it’s time to taste the finished product).
- Put a puzzle together. Puzzles are peaceful activities that invite conversation and relaxation.
- Go to the library. Browsing the aisles of books and checking out some great finds to bring home is always a mood booster for kids. On the drive home, they’ll enjoy relaxing in the car while flipping through their books.
- Get moving. Have a dance party or water balloon fight or set up an obstacle course in your living room. Getting physical not only boosts your children’s mood, but it also improves their school performance and helps them sleep more soundly.
- Play music. The right tune can distract us from fatigue and pain, elevate our mood and increase our endurance and focus. The right music can completely flip your mindset.
- Get in the car. Sometimes what everyone needs is a relaxing ride around town in the car. Buckle up, turn on some music and then just drive around town. You may decide to stop for an ice cream treat at the drive-thru, or you might just want to cruise favorite parts of the city or countryside for a while. This gives everyone some time to relax, think and reflect.
- Give thanks. Start a daily gratitude practice, such as a gratitude jar. Have your child write down what he’s grateful for on a small slip of paper at the end of each day and put it in the jar. This can help him default to positivity more often. (This is a great activity for the entire family!)
- Give a hug. Hugs make everything better.
A good reminder for children is that they can do things to make themselves feel better. But sometimes when kids are upset, it’s hard for them to remember the positive, joyful things in their lives. That’s where you come in and remind them what it is that often makes them feel better. For instance, “I’ve noticed you like to listen to your favorite songs when you feel like this, or draw pictures of your favorite characters.” A simple reminder like this is how you help your kids rebound from a bad day and build problem-solving skills.
When your children are having a rough day (no matter what ages), here are some go-to phrases that just may help them feel better.
- I love you.
- Do you want a hug?
- Take a deep breath.
- Do you want to talk about it?
- I’m here for you.
- It will be okay.
- Is there anything I can do to help?
- I’m already proud of you.
- I know you’ll be able to figure this out.
- How about some ice cream?
Kansas City mom and author Gina Klein enjoys helping her two teen daughters reset after their bad days with hugs, nature walks, crafts, the library, shopping and the Gratitude jar.