If we asked our parents, or our grandparents, about their parenting styles and what they would do differently now that the parenting chapter for them is closed, most would have much (or at least something) to say about that. My mom has encouraged me countless times with my kids as she watches me parent. Our love for our children unites us, but how we carry out the day-to-day musings looks different because we are different people, thus, our parenting is different. Amid the encouragement, there is usually a reflective comment for herself about doing things different with us if she could go back in time.
Last week at my daughter’s preschool, the teachers and parents celebrated “Week of the Young Child.” As I went through the regular routine of checking my daughter’s backpack when it was time to pick her up, I noticed a sheet of paper with a type of poem on it. It was entitled, “If I Had My Child To Raise Over Again.” Hindsight being passed down from older mothers who have gone before us, with great wisdom to pass on to those of us who feel “in the trenches.” Amid the piles of laundry, strewn cheerios, Legos, markers and coloring books, sippy cups, princess dolls and more, this had me in tears at just the 2nd line. I’m hoping it resonates with you, too.
If I had my child to raise all over again,I’d build self-esteem first and the house later.I’d finger-paint more and point the finger less.I would do less correcting and more connecting.I’d take my eyes off my watch and watch with my eyes.|I would care to know less and know to care more.I’d take more hikes, fly more kites.I’d stop playing serious and seriously play.I’d do more hugging and less tugging.I’d see the oak in the acorn more often.I would be firm less often and affirm much more.I’d model less about the love of power and more about the power of love.